Desperate To Communicate With Our Teens
I’m a desperate housewife. Well, I mean, I’m a fan of the ABC television show Desperate Housewives. I even make my husband watch it (although I doubt he’ll admit that). I particularly relate to Lynette Scavo with her large family of mostly boys. I think the show creator, Marc Cherry, does a good job of balancing Lynette’s positives with her faults. I love how Lynette is trying her hardest to be a good mom, but still willing to admit to and learn from her mistakes. ‘Cause let’s face it ladies (and men), we all make mistakes in this long parenting journey.
Did you see last night’s episode? This season the story has zoomed ahead five years so Lynette’s children are no longer trouble-making grade schoolers. Now they are trouble-making teenagers. On last night’s episode Lynette was worried her son Porter was still friends with a kid who had recently been arrested for drugs. To find out she created a fake profile on a social networking site (much like MySpace) and “friended” her son. While on the site she discovered Porter was truthful when he said he was no longer friend’s with the teen involved in drugs and she also found out Porter wrote poetry. She was thrilled to learn something new about her son; something he would never talk to her about since teenagers don’t talk to their parents. But it took a turn for the worse when she discovered Porter had a crush on her (or umm…her online persona) and she had to break it off. But when she broke it off she accidentally signed it “love mom” and completely blew her cover.
There was a great scene where she apologized to Porter and told him she really misses talking to him and being a part of his life. It was obvious Porter was a little touched by that even though he was angry that his mom had spied on him.
It’s hard to stay connected to our teens. When they get to this age we suddenly become the enemy. They no longer confide in us. Instead they are confiding in their friends. Somewhere along the line we became these old people who don’t know anything and certainly don’t understand what our teenager could possibly be going through.
But we’ve got to keep trying. We’ve got to keep communicating with them even if they won’t communicate back. I wouldn’t suggest lying or sneaking around behind their back. When you get caught it just makes it worse. But don’t give up on your teen either. At this age teens are very egocentric and thinking of the now rather than the future. But they still need their mommy (and daddy).
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My kinder is 8 going on super-wise 16. I really hope to have a great relationship with her AS HER MOTHER…not as her best friend.
I had reservations about texting at first, but it seems that teens find communication easier when it isn’t face to face.
Being a parent is not as easy as it looks from the outside, but it is worth the effort nevertheless!
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