Desperate To Communicate With Our Teens
I’m a desperate housewife. Well, I mean, I’m a fan of the ABC television show Desperate Housewives. I even make my husband watch it (although I doubt he’ll admit that). I particularly relate to Lynette Scavo with her large family of mostly boys. I think the show creator, Marc Cherry, does a good job of balancing Lynette’s positives with her faults. I love how Lynette is trying her hardest to be a good mom, but still willing to admit to and learn from her mistakes. ‘Cause let’s face it ladies (and men), we all make mistakes in this long parenting journey.
Did you see last night’s episode? This season the story has zoomed ahead five years so Lynette’s children are no longer trouble-making grade schoolers. Now they are trouble-making teenagers. On last night’s episode Lynette was worried her son Porter was still friends with a kid who had recently been arrested for drugs. To find out she created a fake profile on a social networking site (much like MySpace) and “friended” her son. While on the site she discovered Porter was truthful when he said he was no longer friend’s with the teen involved in drugs and she also found out Porter wrote poetry. She was thrilled to learn something new about her son; something he would never talk to her about since teenagers don’t talk to their parents. But it took a turn for the worse when she discovered Porter had a crush on her (or umm…her online persona) and she had to break it off. But when she broke it off she accidentally signed it “love mom” and completely blew her cover.
There was a great scene where she apologized to Porter and told him she really misses talking to him and being a part of his life. It was obvious Porter was a little touched by that even though he was angry that his mom had spied on him.
It’s hard to stay connected to our teens. When they get to this age we suddenly become the enemy. They no longer confide in us. Instead they are confiding in their friends. Somewhere along the line we became these old people who don’t know anything and certainly don’t understand what our teenager could possibly be going through.
But we’ve got to keep trying. We’ve got to keep communicating with them even if they won’t communicate back. I wouldn’t suggest lying or sneaking around behind their back. When you get caught it just makes it worse. But don’t give up on your teen either. At this age teens are very egocentric and thinking of the now rather than the future. But they still need their mommy (and daddy).
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This is oh so true, even with “tweens”. I find it very difficult to get my 10 1/2 yr old daughter to tell me things. There has got to be an easier way.
I only have toddlers now and have nightmares of what it will be like when they reach the teenage stage. I hope that one way I am able to connect with them at that point is by volunteering as a family for different area causes. It can help offset the “egocentric” tendencies and sets an example of ways to give to others, a life-choice that will hopefully continue as they grow into responsible and caring adults.
This communication issue is starting earlier and earlier – I’m seeing indications of teen angst starting in my 9 year old daughter – I hoped I had a *little* more time before this all began….
I love the show-one of the very few I watch! It was a great episode-I cringed when she signed it love, mom. Yikes!
I don’t watch the show, but I vividly remember the teenage days at our house. I’m glad they’re over.
I’m having so much fun blog hopping for Blogtoberfest!
so upset i missed last night. crying about it all day.
That scene was one of the best in the show. I cringe when I think of my daughters becoming teens, my oldest is almost 9 and I am already worried.
I haven’t watched this show because I want to start it from the beginning… I’ll have to find someone that owns the seasons on DVD!
I loved they jumped ahead, but thats also becuase its ending in a couple years…they wanted to be able to complete storylines..I cringed at LOVE MOM too
I like reeva’s phrase “blog hopping”. I’m enjoying it too.
I can totally relate, I have 6 kids ranging in ages 27 down to 14 year old twins, yep, ya gotta keep the communication going, no matter what! thanks!
Hello! I have two teenage sons. I can identify! Please enter me in yor fun surprise drawing. Many thanks…..Cindi
The storyline with Lynette last night was really good. I felt bad for both her and Porter when she sent the message, knowing it was going to break his heart.
I have a teenage daughter that LOVES to tell me everything! Then I have a teenage boy who wants to tell me nothing!
Well, soon enough it seems I’ll have three teenagers (two that are fifteen seconds apart in age and one just 21 months younger than the twins). EEEKS!!
Yay for giveaways! Total blog-hopping.
I love this show too. My kids aren’t that age yet, but its coming fast.
I’ve neither watched the show nor been a parent to teens, but I found I had a similar issue when my younger brother was that age (I don’t know, maybe he felt the same way about me).
I think I relate to Lynette best too. Last night’s episode got me thinking about how I’ll handle the whole “online” stuff when my kids are teens. I’d love to think they won’t be stupid, but I know they are kids and they will be. I hope though that my kids will always trust me enough to come and talk to me about anything.
There are days that I think it’s almost as difficult to be the parent of two boys, as it is to actually be a teen.
My daughter is tween right now and I’m already worried about her becoming a teen. I hope she will be able to come and talk to me.
I love this show, but I am not crazy about the 5 yr jump.
Love surprises! Thanks for the contest!!
My son is almost 4 and I am dreading the day I become totally uncool to him! Thanks for the fun post!
My 12yo DD still comes to me with almost everything. Her latest drama involved one of her friends having sex. She didn’t want to be friends with this girl anymore, but she didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
It’s really hard for me to accept that some of DD’s peers are that sophisticated. DD asked for (and received) an Easy Bake Oven for her birthday a couple of weeks ago. She still plays with dolls! Right now I listen a lot, and try not to be to rash with my advice, I just want to keep the lines of communication open.
No one said parenting was easy.
I just got through this difficult age with my daughter. Keep trying,keep communicating and give hugs whenever possible-this stage will not last forever.
I am going to enjoy these toddler years and I can wait for the teen and tween years
I have to say that looking forward to those years defintely makes me nervous, but as fast as they go by I know they will be here before I know it!
sblilly14(@)yahoo(.)com
I tell everyone I know with teenagers to buy a dog, because the dog is the only one who will be excited to see you when you come home. LOL
entered!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a 14 year old daughter. Our relationship is great, for the most part. I feel that she communicates a lot to me, but I also know that there’s some things she hasn’t told me.
Hope to win, I love surprises.
I have a 15 year old boy, i can relate for sure, thanks
I’d love to win this
I love surprises
Yes I love surprises!
count me in
I experienced the same situation with my niece Sarah. Suddenly, between ages 16 and 18, she knew everything (far better than anyone else), became secretive, and considered herself much more adventurous than us old fogies. Her mother had died when she was 8 years old and I had been close to her ever since, and was shocked at the change. Luckily she went to Europe and wrote to me almost daily and we then
once again started our friendship!
I love a surprise!
I always had open communication with my children when they were teens. I’m sure they didn’t tell me EVERYTHING but at least the told me the really important things.
I love surprises!
I have kid of all ages so this is interesting. Thanks.
Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve never watched Desperate Housewives. It comes on when I’m putting children to bed, cleaning up the day’s clutter and getting things ready for the morning rush.
Communication is important in all relationships so this is good info
Great blog and website. Thank you for all your great reviews.
Ya know, they say her boys are wild but I have not seen any of that yet. I think Lynette is making them seem wild..OOPs I forgot about the poker games though. But the last episode they were good. Just a paranoid Mom trying to find out about her son’s friends. Now haven’t we all at one time or another tried to find out what’s happening in our child’s world by some devious means?
I LOVE SURPRISES
Blogtoberfest? How exciting! Great post & keep the surprises coming
Thanks for a fun contest!