Diary of My Exhausted Adrenals…Week Two

O.k…So I started eating, taking vitamins and taking Adrenal Factors.

Have I mentioned how much I hate pills?  I suppose that now is a great time to admit that while I firmly force all sorts of herbal capsules, teas, and vitamins on my victims family and friends I rarely take them myself. 

Some of that is because I have a touch sensitivity which makes me overly sensitive to the way things feel.. in other words pills make me gag.  How ever, these are not too bad..and I have taken them three times a day as directed…most days..some days I forget and only get two in.

Guess what? I feel better.  I have more energy. And the brain fog that has been surrounding me seems to have lifted.  So, Week One is a success.

There are several things that need to be changed when your adrenals are messed up…I am trying to take this slowly for my own sake as well as yours.  I want to break this down into steps that anyone can follow, and then record whether or not there is a difference. The thing I have chosen for this week is emotions.  Partly because this will be my biggest challenge, bigger than taking pills for sure, and partly because I figure if the emotions are still out of whack then you are still contributing to the problem in spite of the medication you are taking.  Yes?

Apparently women with adrenal fatigue fall easily into a pattern of giving and nurturing everyone but themselves.  Apparently we have real trouble receiving affection and nurture, even from ourselves.  Apparently we don’t feel like we deserve it.

Ouch.

So…c’mon, if I have to so do you….

What are the words you would use to describe yourself? I would not use words like sweet, kind, nice, etc…not  because I am NOT those things but because I don’t see myself that way.  I find it much easier to apply negative terms or powerful terms.Stubborn, opinionated, competent, hard to get along with, a loner…

When my favorite Aunt died I was the one that scrubbed the kitchen floor while everyone else cried and hugged.  When I am under more stress than I can handle I square my shoulders and say,” o.k. God, we can do this…. “  I do not give up.

But, have someone tell me they love me (besides Marc or the kids, I mean) ACK! I HATE that..it makes me uncomfortable.  Or if they tell me I am sweet?   Yikes.! Ewww!

I can easily spend money on everyone else but not myself.  Going to get a massage every week has been a big step for me.  For 15.00 I get a 15 minute chair massage by a woman who, blessedly, knows what she is doing and is trained in the art of real massage as opposed to a back rub.  But every week there is part of me that tells me I should not get it, it is too expensive..I could use the money on other things.

So, the assignment (if you will allow me to use that phrase) for this week is Love, Nurture, and Accept.

I will love myself.  I am a nice person (almost typed something sarcastic there) and I am even kind.  Maybe sweet, who knows?  I have many good qualities.

I will nurture myself every day.  This means a cup of tea in a quiet corner with some poetry…or a walk down to the creek to watch the birds and other wild life..maybe rent a movie that I want to see, or take some time to read a book that is not a self help book, a medical book, or Dr. Suess.

I will accept affection.  When people compliment me I will say thank you.  When I am hugged I will hug back rather than standing like a post.  When ever I have a bad memory I will consiously replace it with a memory of a time I felt loved and secure.

It seems so simple writing it but these are big steps for me, and some almost induce a sense of panic. So, 30 minutes a day, minimum feeding my spirit and emotions with healthy food.

How about you?  Do you need to work on any of these areas?