Disenfranchised Fathers

Perhaps my co-bloggers in the Science and Health channel will re-think allowing me to participate in our monthly Theme Day as a result of this post. I’m not quite sure where I’ll wind up but letting loose feels like an option…

National Men’s Health Week – a topic related to Men’s Health. I found the National Men’s Health Week web site and gave it a cursory look through to see what, if anything, they might offer as information on alcoholism and recovery. Nothing.

The stated purpose of Health Week is on the front page. It says: “The purpose of Men’s Health Week is to heighten the awareness of preventable health problems and encourage early detection and treatment of disease among men and boys.”

I’m a male. No surprise there eh? I have two sons, both grown, in their twenties. From what I’ve been told, my older son is an active heroin addict. Directly from my younger son, he is “in recovery” in Narcotics Anonymous for a short few months.

Though there appears to be no information on their site about alcoholism or drug addiction, I believe the organization has performed a public service by providing one specific pdf (out of quite a number of others) which applies to my situation and, I’m absolutely certain, to the situation of many a recovering alcoholic father! This is damn well something that needs to be changed, imho.

The Disenfranchised Father

This document begins with;

“Divorce is one of life’s greatest traumas. It is a process—not an event—that begins much earlier and continues years after the granting of the decree. It is especially painful when children are involved—often an emotional, social, and economic disaster for all concerned.

The ‘American/Canadian way of divorce’ (mother gets “custody”; father gets “visitation” and financial child support obligation) is based on outmoded, erroneous, and damaging concepts concerning men’s and women’s parenting roles, abilities, and parent-child relationships. As such, it serves primarily to prolong and intensify the suffering and thereby to inflict great emotional harm on our children.

Today, while we rightly address the problems of single mothers and ‘their’ children, we ignore the plight of the ‘other’ parent.”

Yes, with most certainty, this applies to a very large majority. Yet, for those of us who are working a program of recovery from a fatal, progressive and permanent disease, it is only more traumatic and takes some of us out. More ought to be done about it!

They don’t ignore the plight of the ‘other’ parent, they go out of their way to make it worse!

Please – take a moment to read that document. It especially speaks to me when it says: “Why are ‘absent’ fathers absent? Why are ‘deadbeat’ fathers dead? Are they as callous as presented, or were they ‘killed’ first and then accused of being dead?”

Do whatever you need to do to not drink – and go to a meeting. Call your sponsor. Work the steps! Help someone else. Have a wonderful, sober day!

Mark