Divvy up the duties…

How do you divvy up the housework in your home? Do you go along traditional gender/Beaver Cleaver household rules? Does one of you do the lion’s share of the chores while the other, um, doesn’t?

I think in the beginning of our marriage we did fall along the traditional gender rules. We didn’t live together until the day we got married, so the whole co-habitation thing was brand new to us. And what a shocker that is, yeah?

Anyway, we didn’t know any better, so I think we just did what we each thought we should do. And seeing as how we were apartment living at the time, which meant no yard to mow, I think Bald Man made out on that deal! Of course, he was learning to live with quite possibly one of the people least interested or attendant to a well-ordered home, so probably he was not getting out of anything so easily.

10 years of living together has not, I repeat not, gotten us yet to where we know exactly what we each do best and everything just works out because we are just the best team and the most well-running machine never. Nope, that’s not us. We have figured out a few responsibilities that needed to be switched. I’m no good at folding clothes, and it was just too stressful for him to have to look at my pathetic attempts at doing so. He took over that one. My feelings were not hurt.

I would probably take over mowing if it weren’t for the hills in our yard. I don’t mind being outside, and yard mowing has a definite feeling of accomplishment about it. Still, I feel fine leaving that to him for now.

I think, though, we mostly just both do what needs to be done. I usually take care of the kitchen, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t unload the dishes or clean up if I haven’t gotten to it. He usually mows, but I nag him if he hasn’t gotten to it in a reasonable amount of time. Just kidding. I enjoy some of the yard work and harvesting and such from his vegetable garden.

There is a long way to go, though. I would say that he does most of the picking up. Not because I’m mean and lazy, but because things bother him that don’t bother me. If things don’t bother me, it means I probably don’t notice them. And that’s part of figuring ourselves out as well, doing things simply for the comfort of the other person. Gifts don’t only come wrapped in fancy paper and tied up with a bow. Sometimes doing something just to please your spouse, something that they can cross off of their to-do list, is a nice surprise gift as well.

How about you? How are the household responsibilities handled in your home?

photo credit: Eggybird