Do you Give Up or Make a Plan?
In the last few days I have run into a handful of bloggers and people who are not up on politically correct adoption terms, including myself. I often find myself saying we are getting another child. Why? No idea. But it is certainly not PC.
What terms are PC? Here is a chart from adopting.com. They took their guidelines from several sources and did a ton of work. Nonetheless, its a great list.
| Old/Recent | The Latest PC Language |
| Adoptable child Available child Waiting child Child available for adoption Hard-to-place child |
Adoption available for child Child in need of a family |
| Adoptee | Adopted person Person who was adopted Exlegitimate Relinquishee |
| Adoption Triad Adoption Triangle |
Adoption circle Adoption constellation Adoption community |
| Adoptive parent | Parent Adopter (common outside US) |
| Birth mother Real mother |
Biological mother First mother Life mother Natural mother (outside the US) |
| Birth father Sperm donor Begettor Real father |
Biological father First father Natural father (outside the US) |
| Birth relative Blood relative |
Genetic relative |
| Can’t have children | Cannot conceive Cannot carry pregnancy |
| Child taken away | Court termination of parental rights |
| Closed adoption | Confidential adoption Traditional adoption (?) |
| Foreign adoption Alien adoption International adoption |
Intercountry adoption |
| Foreign child Alien child |
Child from abroad |
| Foster care | Interim care |
| Give up/away Adopt out Place for adoption |
Make an adoption plan Choose adoption Voluntary surrender (legal) |
| Handicapped child Disabled child |
Child with special needs |
| Homestudy | Parent preparation process Preadoptive counseling |
| Illegitimate | Born to unmarried parents Born outside of marriage Exlegitimate |
| Mixed race | Interracial |
| Is adopted | Was adopted |
| Keep | Parent |
| Legal surrender papers | Agreement to Adoption |
| Real child Own child |
Birth child |
| Relinquish Surrender Release |
Choose adoption for the child |
| Reunion | Meeting between first/life parent and adult adopted person |
| Reunite | Make contact with Meet |
| Track down Search |
Try to locate |
| Unwanted child Child placed for adoption |
Child placed in adoption |
| Unwanted pregnancy | Unplanned pregnancy |
Interesting list. I’m not so sure about “adoption constellation” and “exlegitimate.” Talk about a mouthful of jargon!
I write and speak about adoption, and have noticed that “intercountry” seems to be rapidly replacing “international” adoption.
And the term “first parent” is being used more and more frequently. There’s some controversy over that one — some adoptive parents (or should I say, “parents”) balk at the term “first parent” when their child’s biological parent abused them or otherwise didn’t care for them–in the womb or otherwise.
I’m going to post this list on my Exploring Adoption blog. Thanks for sharing it.
Laura,
I have commented several times on your site, specifically about Post Adoption Depression. Not sure if you remember me?
I agree about the first parent term and would prefer first mother or biological instead but thats the way it goes I guess. In my most recent post a media spokesperson even stated on tv “give up”, which still gets to me…specifically because I would have to tell me son that his mother gave him up (even though she was forced to do so). I would much rather tell him she could not care for him, which is also the truth.
In copying the post…please make sure to state where I got the terms.
Interesting list – but still very much a list written by adoptive parents.
Nice to see ‘birth mother’ going – as it was a term solely made up by the adoption industry.
I certainly much prefer ‘adoptee’ – not adopted person – nor ‘person who was adopted’ – and if you read around the adoptee blog world – many who are listed on my blog – you would see that most adoptees prefer the ‘adoptee’ term – if we are to be labelled.
Please be aware of where lists come from – as they certainly can be biased towards those that want to be shown in the best light.
Thanks.
Possum.
(Aussie adoptee)
Possum,
Do you have a source for terms? I would love to see it.