Do you inconvenience others with your vegetarianism?
Reading this blog post recently, I started thinking about how far I’m willing to go to stick to my vegetarianism. Is it worth inconveniencing others to make sure I avoid meat? If so, how much? Is it worth offending a chef or a host?
Luckily, I don’t think I end up inconveniencing others too much. I try to not be too picky with restaurant choices, for example, especially when I know I’ll probably end up eating the same thing anywhere we choose to go. For the most part, friends and family are happy to make sure there’s something for me to eat, and are very accommodating as well. But the more I think about it, the more the odd vegetarian horror story springs to mind (particularly the one that I talked about in this post ).
How do you deal with this? Have you ever been in a situation where your vegetarianism has caused conflict?
Luckily, I’ve never felt so intimidated by other people that I’ve ordered something I didn’t really want to eat. It was much easier, of course, when I was a pesco-vegetarian, because you can usually/always find a fish dish on a restaurant menu.
But I think that person would find people are a lot more accepting than you might think, as long as you stick to your guns and don’t make a big deal out of it. They’d probably be more surprised if she started enforcing her vegetarian rule NOW, because they might remember that she ate meat with them in the past. It’s easier if they know how/what you eat right off the bat.
I definitely think the blogger is being overly-timid in trying to avoid perceived conflict. And if you never speak up, how are people supposed to know what you’re eating isn’t what you want to be eating?
But I guess it can be hard when you are new to vegetarianism, and are in an environment where there aren’t any other vegetarians. Come to think of it, I did get made fun of in high school for my vegetarianism, but luckily it didn’t affect my eating habits…
I’m pretty accomodating — maybe overly so — with this stuff. I always insist that I can pretty much eat anywhere, knowing that even in a steakhouse I can get a salad and a baked potato. So there’s that. But I’ve never ordered meat just to fend off embarassment. That kind of strikes me as way, way too timid. Come on, girl — make a joke about it and order the noodles!
The only time I’ve had a hard time with this is on job interviews done over lunch. It seems awkward to try to dictate where we’ll eat, and those are the times I don’t want to be the guy eating salad at a steakhouse. But I’ve found that when I ask to change venue, people invariably have no problem with it. And I get the impression that they’re impressed with me for being someone willing to stick his neck out.
As for your Italian conundrum, I’d eat the dish. I always make sure that people know I’m vegetarian, and I always try to reassure them that, unless they’re going to serve steak with a side of veal and chicken, there will be plenty for me to eat, so please don’t make anything special for me. It helps to have my wife say “Seriously, he’s fine. He eats like a rabbit. Don’t cook special for him.” But if someone makes me food, especially if they put time and heart into it, I’m gonna eat that food. Even if it’s monkey brains, which probably aren’t that bad, actually.
Absolutely I will inconvenience others. I treat my vegetarianism the same way others treat nut allergies. It’s a big deal if I’m served meat when I asked for something vegetarian. That blogger just sounds like she hasn’t really made up her mind whether she’s a vegetarian or not.
I very much agree with Zandria’s point of view. It’s important to be clear from the very start while not making too big a fuss about vegetarianism, because people would feel that we are trying to “convert” them. I will talk about my choices if people ask and if they are interested in finding out more.