Do You Limit Your Child’s Reading?
May 21, 2009 by Mary Emma Allen
Filed under Parenting
“Lizzie’s mom wouldn’t let her read certain books, so she kept them in her locker at school and read them anyway,” my daughter shared with me about her friend years later.
Image: sxc.hu
”These weren’t ‘bad’ books,” Beth continued, “only books Lizzie’s mom thought didn’t go along with their religion.”
We had always read to and with Beth when she was younger and encouraged her love of books.
I didn’t restrict the books Beth read. Instead, when she was in high school, she shared with me, and we discussed why or why I didn’t think they were appropriate. I thought I needed to teach her how to make judgments about her reading, movie and television (now Internet) watching before she was on her own. If I said, “No,” to specific books, they might have more appeal. Also, she’d read them anyway, as Lizzie did.
Do you check on the books your children are reading and limit some of them? Or do you feel, that as they grow older, they will read these books anyway. So you need to teach them how to make good decisions?
My kids are older now, but they usually took my advice when they were younger. If there was any question about whether a book was “too old” for one of them, I would make sure to read it first, and then we would have discussion about anything that was new to them. More often, if they tried a book beyond their reach, they would just get bored and stop reading it.
We never restricted content, and I don’t understand parents that do. Even if a book’s theme conflicts with your religious views, why would you think you can just pretend that other views do not exist? If you can’t defend your views in the face of a childrens’ book, how well will you defend them in the face of real life? I’ve never understood how hiding the world from kids is supposed to protect them. When they are finally confronted with reality, how will they know how to respond to it, if you have not modeled your own responses for them? You have to talk about things you disagree with, not hide them.
Thank you, Matriarchy, for sharing your views on this topic and relating your experiences with your own children. It seems to make sense to discuss with youngsters the content in books, even if you don’t agree with it. Then they’re prepared to make decisions on their own, when they have to.
I cannot possibly keep up with all the books my daughter reads. Many parents can’t get their children to read… I cannot get her not to! She is 13 and reads 2-3 books a week. And no, I do not limit content, although I do go online and get a basic scenario and read reviews – I think in a lot of ways it gives her perspective she wouldn’t otherwise get. Good and bad. If she reads something problematic, she usually wants to talk about it anyway.
Yes and no. My oldest (he’s 12) began reading the H.Potter series a few years back and I’ve basically given him free reign on books. I also normally buy him the books or he gets them from his school library which I feel they monitor those books. My second child, she’s 8 is allowed to read most books but there are a few I don’t allow her to read. I bought her the Sweet Valley Twins a few years back (an entire collection) but she must start with the Sweet Valley Kids first since I know the twins are in jr/high school and kiss and such. I think it depends on what the characters are doing since she wants to grow up so fast. My son typically reads mystery/thrillers.