Do you think stepfamilies are problematic for kids?
Now here’s a topic that’s as clear as mud!
Like a large portion of families in the U.S., mine is blended. Between my husband and me, we have four kids. His two and my two.
To be perfectly honest, as much as I love and adore my husband, I have to admit that IF I could go back and do it over again, I’d probably just work on developing a relationship with him until the kids were out of school rather than trying to blend our families.
It seems there’s a constant tug-of-war going on between grandparents, parents, kids, extended families and friends. Talk about chaos, you’ve seen nothing until you attempt a blended family.
My kids are relatively strong and since we’re a family that talks about everything, even to the point of making mom really uncomfortable, I have to wonder how many families are suffering in silence from the pressures of trying to blend two families?
What are some extra measures parents can take to make the blended process easier?
What about grandparents and extended families when it comes to showing preferences, even to the point of hurting at least one childs feelings?
Tags: blended families, step family, step mom, step dad, step kids, grandparents, parenting, second marriage, divorce
I don’t think it problematic for the kids. Its problematic for the adults surrounding the kids. When my stepson first came to live with us I was TOTALLY against it. I hated the thought of having to raise a kid that wasn’t mine when his mother was perfectly capable of raising him herself. But I had double standards…because my daughter is leaving with me and she is not my husband child. But for the most part, my husband don’t/didn’t participate in the child rearing in our household. School work, school functionis, activities, was ALL me. I knew if he came to live with me I would be the one having to do all those things. Then I felt my son (my husband and me child together) wasn’t going to get enough attention from me or his dad because this other child was coming in. Well it took awhile for me to get use to the new situation but I finally did and I honest can’t see our family without him in it now. My daughter is 14, he is 11 and the youngest is 7…so he was the perfect fit for our family. He and my daughter is really close and he and my son (although they fight like boys fight) are really close as well. I gave him his first birthday party he ever had in his life this passed birthday and it feel really good to be able to raise him as my own now.
As adults, sometimes we can make the problems with our own hidden agenda’s or hidden feelings. The children can feel when they are not wanted and their actions usually is mere re-actions to them not feeling wanted.
I dont feel parents have any clue what stress it puts on a kid to find out ur mom is not in love with ur father or vise wersa.im a kid of a step family and im working on my second step father the frist one was there my whole life untill i was 12 then the one i have now came into my life when i was 14. dont get me wrong i like my step dad but sometimes i feel im not good enough for him cause im not his like. he always says i cant do for just one but yet if it comes to one of his daughters its dont if it comes to me or my brothers it either no or later