You are right, we do need to do whatever we can to make ourselves better. And we need to surround ourselves with positive people who will help us get better not drag us down.

I feel sorry for those women who feel so powerless that they don’t even try. I think we’ve all been there at some stage even if it was just for a few minutes or hours! You are right, you can’t change their attitudes. Its frustrating, but well done for trying to help. You never know, maybe one little thing you said will help someone in the group.

while the two are intertwined, you are correct – they are very different. I am pretty sure, that you can guess what I suspect the answer is to both questions from that night.

I did waste my time, but it was a good exercise in public speaking for me….and I have just decided to concentrate on what was positive about the experience. The best thing for me, is to let go of the “bad stuff” that was inflicted.

Thanks for the comment!

I tend to agree with you on most of what you said. The road is a way more difficult when your family does not support you.

But I really do believe that you need to want to get better, and be willing to do whatever you can to achieve that. It is not going to come, unless you work at it. What I saw the other night, were women telling each other how hard they have it….each woman one upping the other one. Perhaps I came on an off night – but the impression I got, was that this is what its like every meeting. Of course, it is possible that I am wrong (don’t think so).

What I saw was people hurting themselves….and it hurt me to watch them.

I am really not sure what you are so angry at.

Is it that people don’t want to get well – and/or do something about it (achieving wellness). Or is it that there are people who do work at getting well, and live a positive life -regardless of how they are feeling.

I don’t think that asking people to take responsibility for themselves (and this includes the illness they are living with) is what is wrong with this world.

interesting perspective.

I’ve had a hard time keeping up that fine line between being educated about this illness, and not dwelling on “being sick”. Since it is largely self-administering, I can’t just sit back and wait for my health care team to tell me how to get better (which I can understand is an attitude that many were brought up with, especially in the days when girls “couldn’t do science”), so I do have to delve into all things CFS. Over the years, I’ve managed to tailor my sources to be the most balanced, educated, and forward looking. But I also have to step back and say “ok, I have limits like every other person on the planet – what can I do with them?”. And that’s not a step that everyone can take, especially if they don’t have the resources or the supports to try and fail. I’ve been very, very lucky that my family-of-origin and my husband have from the beginning acknowledged that something was seriously wrong, and they are the first to tell me to cut myself some slack. I don’t know how I would handle all of this, if I had to spend what little energy I had in keeping up appearances so that I didn’t get berated by those who are supposed to love me most.

So while I agree with you on the support group issue (well, at least the ones like that one!), I can only feel sad for the women who are stuck. Your way may not have been what they needed, but I hope they find it, whatever it is.