Comments on: Does It Bother You to See Other People’s Babies?

By: Bump Fairy

Bump Fairy — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 02:53:44 +0000

I was always drawn to babies during our long time TTC, even when we got the “infertile” definitian thrown at us. It was pregnant women, specifically women I was close with, that I had a hard time with. Great article!!

By: baby girl

baby girl — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:11:57 +0000

Every time I see a baby I fill with happiness and joy.

By: Gabrielle

Gabrielle — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 14:12:22 +0000

Shinejil, I think you nailed it for me. I think the only times I actually notice young children is when they or more often their parents are behaving badly. It is the doting, overbearing, smothering “helicopter” parent variety that makes me the craziest.

But then just as I am in the middle of tsk tsk’ing in my mind, I make myself stop for fear of bringing down bad baby/parenting karma upon myself!

Thank you for your comments, Shinejil.

By: Babies

Babies — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 01:22:28 +0000

[...] Does It Bother You to See Other People’s Babies? [...]

By: Shinejil

Shinejil — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 17:30:08 +0000

I have to say it’s very unpredictable when I’ll be bothered by seeing kids and when not.

Many kids are such cool people that I love interacting with them. Some moms and dads, let’s be honest here, are annoying or stupid people in general, which of course brings up feelings of “why do those idiots reproduce like flies, while we’re struggling?”

So, while I do get kiddie pangs, I understand that most other people don’t have the problems I do and therefore can have kids easily. It’s not their fault that I’m suffering; I’m different and no one knows why. I can also recognize my friends’ struggles who are facing the challenges of parenting.

By: Barry

Barry — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 04:01:48 +0000

Gabby – thanks so much for sending me this link. I frankly never would’ve known about any of this and find myself reading and reading. I’ll be sure to keep coming back.

By: Gabrielle

Gabrielle — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 22:51:20 +0000

It makes a lot of sense, Kendra, and you are not the first person I have heard wanting to talk about this issue: How can I be supportive of my friends/family members who are trying to conceive or can’t conceive without completely ignoring my own life experiences and MY need for a comforting shoulder or some understanding every once in a while?

I hear you. It can even be an issue in the blogosphere – someone not wanting to be too celebratory about their own successful pregnancy for fear of upsetting others who haven’t been so lucky. There has to be a middle ground, right?

I’m feeling a post on this topic a brewing…..

By: Kendra

Kendra — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 22:21:33 +0000

I can totally see both sides of this. Personally I have 3 girls and did not have issues conceiving. I actually had my 3 and 3 miscarriages all in 4 years, so it came easy (I did almost die after the third birth though, so there was some hardship). But what is hard from my side is that I feel a ping of guilt if I complain about my kids or busy-ness to my youngest sister, who has been trying to conceive for about 3 years now, or other friends that are trying to conceive. It is tough because I find myself biting my tongue at times when I want to just let loose about my kids, but other times I also get frustrated with her not understanding what it is like. Does that make sense? I love her dearly and she is a wonderful Aunt, my 3 love fun Aunt Lyss believe me. Just being honest

And for me, I have the 3 but I am soooo not a hold others baby and talk goo goo ga ga to them. I like them from a distance!

By: Tom

Tom — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 19:58:48 +0000

Gab,

What has surprised me is the number of childhood cancer survivors who were not “supposed” to be able to have children yet have become pregnant (or have impregnanted). It seems that some of the information that they gave us back them MAY not have had long term study behind it.

For many of us the treatment was severe (or surgical) and changces are not likely…but for others I think better late effect study may be in order.

I guess they were right back when they told us that chemo and radiation were no substitute for borth control.

Sorry, this is a little off topic…but not so off topic.

Back to your topic. It’s pretty much certain that I won’t be able to have kids….Still, I love them and it does not upset me to be around them. I’m happy for those who are able. For me….there are always things I can do for and with children and there will always be children that need more loving than their home situatuion can provide.

By: Gabrielle

Gabrielle — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 19:39:11 +0000

I LOVE seeing some male perspectives here. Thanks so much for your comments, Bill and Tom.

And thanks for the props, Tom. I’m hoping to use the blog to educate and inform others as well. Please feel free to share the link with anyone you think would be interested, especially our young cancer survivor friends. You know a lot of us are in this boat together.