Doing The Next Right Thing?
May 23, 2007 by Mark
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
Do you have an idea what might just be wrong with this? Besides – this seems to me to be another of those “catch-alls” that lots of folks use when they have little more to say?
This is what I hear in meetings… “all I know is, if I do the next right thing, I’m going to be okay.”
“Just do the next right thing…”
Here’s the one that I learned, or was taught, “do the right things and right things will happen, do the wrong things and wrong things will happen.”
I hear you… what can be wrong with any of these???
The next time you hear a relatively newly sober person say this, take a moment after the meeting and ask them what their sponsor says about what the next right thing to do is!!! Find out how many of these folks are continuing to use an alcoholic mind to make their own decisions about what the “next right thing” is. Ask them what Step they referred to, in the book, that their sponsor sent them to, that helped them decide what the “next right thing” was.
Thanks to those crotchedy [?] oldtimers, I learned that I had used my magnificent abilities to decide what the next right thing was so well, that when I looked around me I found out I was in an AA meeting! That’s what’s wrong with “all I know is, if I do the next right thing, I’m going to be okay.”
I needed a SPONSOR!!!
And… I darn well needed to be on the phone with him! Or speaking to him within a five foot radius…
Then listening to a voice of experience to get HELP making my decisons about what was the “next right thing” early on because I was still thinking with an alcoholic mind!
Doing the next right thing is staying on the beam, in the middle of the road, keeping my eye on the mark of emotional sobriety.
Doing the wrong thing is self will, self centeredness, non-God-connectedness. Doing the next wrong thing is taking my life into my own hands.
It’s just a catchy phrase that will probably pass in another 5 years or so. I think when newcomers say it, it’s more like *I’m trying to follow direction, and it’s really hard, so I’m just doing the next right thing.* Sometimes it sounds like resignation.
It’s that part in the book that says *The correct use of the will*.
Thanks Linda…
I’m willing to use my imagination and consider that you didn’t learn what you’ve just mentioned without the help of a sponsor – correct? You’ve also been here long enough to know that you’re probably right about it being a catch phrase that will pass. Plus – you’re familiar with the literature.
Therein lie some large differences. Those will go away too – if we pass on what was given us the same way it was given us, imho.
DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING ! I was told when I got here that was a Spike Lee movie and I should wacth it only for entertainment only. I had no idea what the next right thing is . I was told get up evry morining thank God for another day and ask for His guidance in the day and that was the right thing . Thank God I dont hear ” all I have to do is the next right thing ” anymore here ,,, what I do hear is “you know what I need” and I had no idea what needed when I got hear . And I will grap the new “guy” after and ask do you have a sponser ? and if not why not? and as you and I were told my ol friend “EVERY THING I KNOW ABOUT STAYING SOBER IS ON THE FRIST PAGE OF THE BIG BOOK” and I use that today very often with the new guys .
AND B T W I am not to happy with the new format ya change dont like it much unless its my idea LOL .
Interesting comments – After I was in recovery for a couple years, I noticed that I always seemed to know what the ‘next right thing’ to do was – I never questioned it, it just seemed to work – I assumed it was like the promises said, “We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us” – I was chatting in a chat room once and was discussing how He was a God of my misunderstanding, that I didn’ have a clue as to what God is or does or how He works – even though I meditate in the morning and thank God for the tremendous gift of sobriety, ask Him to help me reflect that gift in my life and to be sensitive to opportunites to be helpful to others, that I didn’t get emails from God and that he never burnt any bushes in my yard – and I’m also a 3, 7 & 11 step prayer at night kinda guy – Someone had heard me say that I almost always know what the ‘next right thing’ to do is, which I do – amazingly so – and the individual said back to me, how do you know that’s not God – and I got to thinking about it – the BB, pp 55 says, “… for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there” – perhaps after working the steps and including a solid recovery program every day in our lives, we awaken our awareness of the sleeping giant (higher power) within us and are less dependent on sponsors and others in the program to handle our day to day affairs – just a thought – the best always – Larry
[Larry - I edited your comment to include "It may be" prior to "obscured by calamity."]
I can’t say the same for myself Larry… kudos to you.
I’m looking towards the newcomers who take the “statement” and run with it without the years of experience you and I have. (I’m assuming you have years, am I wrong?)
Hi Mark,
My sober date is 9/6/01 – and this is my third attempt at the 12 step program – I sure don’t consider myself an old-timer or anything even close, but I can say that this time I was desparate to make it work and literally threw myself hard at the program – when I first walked in the rooms this time, I was not capable of doing the ‘next right thing’ – heck, I couldn’t do anything when I walked in – I could barely read and write (lliterally), and thinking about anything much more than basic hygiene was out the question – I did prolly 200 meetings in the first few months and little else – I cringed everytime I heard the “G” word even mentioned – after a couple months of just meetings and a lot of fellowship, I got part of the message and joined a home group (much more than just joined, I was very active in that group), got a sponsor, rode to meetings with my sponsor, worked the steps, also with my sponsor and did a lot of service work (among other things, sponsored a county jail meeting) – Somewhere about my two year anniversary, something changed, very dramatically, although it was over a period of a few months – a couple key events were a hot, sweaty August night 11th step meeting, some extensive, personal study into the 11th step, a lesson in love at my two year anniversary, a short December meeting on Appendix II, Spirtual Experience and a spiritual calm that came over me like nothing I have never felt before – and I haven’t been the same since – hopefully it was clear in my earlier post that doing the ‘next right thing’ didn’t start until I was a couple years into recovery and it wasn’t like an instantaneous change, but rather something I just noticed that seemed to be happening – perhaps I should have emphasized that I had intensely worked the program to the best of my ability (and still do today), but otherwise the post is a reasonably accurate summary of my experience in recovery – I didn’t mean my post to be argumentative, nor to indicate that others may acheive the exact same results – as they say in the chat rooms, YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary) – but I can say, that if that worked for me, it would seem that others should get similar results – I don’t think my efforts/results are unique – the promises should come true for those that WORK THE PROGRAM, and specifically, they should “… intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us”, which to me sounds like one should expect that they will almost always know the next right thing to do – and as I mentioned before, I think that they “will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”, which I have come to believe means that I am somehow guided by that ‘fundamental idea of God”, referenced on pp 55 of the BB – I hope this helps for that is really my only purpose in writing this – if this post or my last are not helpful to anyone, then I ask that you please remove them – Love and share a smile, it works everytime – Larry
Larry,
I have the feeling you may have mis-understood my reply… years is bolded and italicized in order to embrace the thought that I had that you sounded like you had “double-digit” years sober. Asking if I might be wrong was simply whether I might be… wrong
I understand what you’re saying and am not disputing it. All I’m saying is that – where I am going to meetings – it seems as if too many new folks use “do the next right thing” as some nature of “catch-all” phrase as opposed to relating a step as a solution to whatever topic has been raised.
I.E. they are using the same old “alcoholic mind” that got them here (that got all of us here), nothing has changed, but it sure sounds good to say “I’m doing the next right thing” when they haven’t a clue… they’re still baffled but they don’t want you and I to know that because then they’d have to go to work! AND – look at themselves!!!
Hi Again Mark,
After I re-read your original aticle, I realized that you were talking about new-comers when they use the phrase ‘next right thing’ – and while I am sure not an old-timer, I certainly was far from a new-comer by the time I noticed the ‘next right thing’ was working in my life –
I was distracted and looking for something else when I ‘tripped’ over your story – and I was perhps a bit off topic, because what really struck me about the ‘next right thing’ wasn’t that I almost always knew what that was – what caught my attention was that I didn’t know HOW I knew what the ‘next right thing’ was – I wondered where did that come from and spent a month or two trying to figure it out – my conclusion I shared in the previous post –
The ‘why’ of knowing what is the ‘next right thing’ was far from the original subject posted of your story –
Anyway, continued good luck in your pursuit of sobriety –
Gary Player quote, “The harder I practice, the luckier I get”.
Larry
“I have the outmost respect with “Doing The Next Right Thing” I have accepted that God is all & all is God, I know that if I do the best I can on a daily basis & I turn my will & my life over to the care of God. My odds are good for today. God bless al of you & keep in mind ” Keep it simple”
Marc
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