Educating Teens About Dating Violence

Today’s gossip magazines are filled with news of R&B singers Chris Brown and Rihanna. Over the weekend 19-year-old Chris Brown allegedly assaulted his 20-year-old girlfriend, Rihanna. Apparently they got in to an argument in their car that ended up with them physically fighting in the street. By the time police arrived on the scene Rihanna had “horrific” contusions, a split lip, and a bloody nose.

Unfortunately dating violence isn’t as rare as we might think (or at least hope). But there isn’t a lot of education on the matter. Our teens have sex education class that teaches them about their bodies and pounds the abstinence message in to their head, but there is very little talk about healthy relationships and teen dating violence.

According to Love Is Not Abuse, 62% of dating tweens have a friend who has been verbally abused by a boyfriend/girlfriend. And only about half of tweens actually know the warning signs. Scary!

We need to talk to our teens about healthy relationships. Teens should be treating their partner with respect. No name calling or jealous rage. Teens need to understand Teen Dating Bill of Rights and Pledge. And they need to know the warning signs of an abusive relationship so they can get out early and know when to seek help.

A teen should ask, “Am I dating somebody who…”

• calls me names?
• tells me how what I can and cannot wear?
• tells me who I can and cannot talk to?
• won’t let me hang out with my friends?
• is jealous or possessive?
• won’t let me make any decisions?
• threatens me?
• is violent? Gets in to fights all the time? And brags about it?
• tries to pressure me to have sex?
• abuses alcohol and drugs?
• tries to control me?
• hits me?
• puts me down?
• makes me feel bad about myself?

Relationships are supposed to be loving and supportive. If you’re miserable then it’s time to get out. If it’s abuse then it’s time to seek help. Nobody deserves to suffer at the hands of somebody who is supposed to love them.