Eight Pre-Eating Disorder Warning Signs Parents Can’t Ignore (but often do anyway)
October 8, 2008 by angelique
Filed under Women's Health
You’re a parent and you’re concerned about eating disorders.
I understand. I’m a parent, too, and I’ve battled anorexia as both a teen and an adult.
To help you gain an understanding of how insipid anorexia, bulimia and binge eating can be, I’ve compiled a list of eight warning signs that an eating disorder could be on the horizon.
1. Your child constantly complains of being “fat”.
I don’t care if your child IS currently overweight — do not ignore this sign! If all your kid talks about is how big he or she feels, it’s a problem. And even if your son or daughter could stand to lose a few pounds, it isn’t normal for kids (especially little ones) to obsess over the shape of their bodies.
2. Your child runs to the bathroom after eating.
Okay, so this isn’t always a bad sign — sometimes they simply have to do their “business”. But if it’s happening after every meal and he or she takes a considerable amount of time in the lavatory, it could signal something’s amiss, such as purging. (Remember — purging doesn’t have to follow bingeing. Many people with ED-NOS purge just about anything they ingest, whether it’s a large portion or a teensy one.) Listen for sounds of vomiting or tooth brushing after every trip to the bathroom.
3. Your child’s friends are all on diets.
Warning! Danger! Peer pressure has been known to trigger anorexia and bulimia, especially when every member in the group your child pals around with is regularly dieting. Though you can’t necessarily choose your child’s friends after a certain age, you can help him or her see that the friends who think they need to diet are mistaken.
4. Your child is withdrawn, moody, ashen, lethargic.
Okay, so this sounds like most ‘tweens and teens, right? Not so! I teach kids of this age, and the idea that they’re all a bunch of brats is simply not true. Sure, they get in bad moods… but don’t you? If a dark mood persists, however, it could warn of clinical depression, which is known to go hand-in-hand with the onset of eating disorders.
5. Your child stops eating foods he or she used to enjoy.
Cake is out. Candy is verboten. Meat? Ha! Though there’s nothing wrong with a kid changing tastes in food, watch out for signs that he or she is starting to eliminate major types of foods — fats, sugars, carbs — from his or her daily intake. I know that becoming a vegan (or at least a vegetarian) is “in vogue” right now, but keep a watchful eye. Many anorexics hide their conditions by claiming that they no longer “like” or “want to eat” groups of foods.
6. Your child wears heavier clothes, even when it’s hot outside.
Red flag! In 100 degree temps, most kids want to at least wear a short sleeve t-shirt with shorts! But I’ve seen MANY young men and women dressed like they’re ready to hit the ski slopes during a heat wave. Eating disorders rob a person of his or her ability to regulate body temperature; if your son or daughter is sporting several layers in July, keep an eye on him or her.
7. Your child loves to talk about eating disorders.
This was me. I loved to talk about anorexia. I borrowed books on eating disorders from the library again and again. I wrote ESSAYS on eating disorders, for crying out loud! (And my mother made fun of one of them in eighth grade, by the way. That was at the beginning of my disorder. I really resented her for that for a long time.) Many of us who have tangoed with ana or mia can’t get enough information on the conditions. We crave knowledge about this insidious disease. (Hey, look at me — I’m in recovery and I’m STILL talking about it!)
8. Your child suddenly wants a scale.
No child innocently wakes up one day desperately wanting a scale. A Hannah Montana CD, yes. The latest $100+ pants, sure. A trip to Disneyworld, absolutely. But not a freakin’ scale. So if your kid starts bugging you to buy one (or goes out and buys one for him- or herself out of the blue), don’t just shrug your shoulders. Pry a little. Be a parent. Be tough. Be loving.
Remember: You are the adult. I don’t care how much your kids bitch and moan about you being unfair or not understanding them. You’re often the FIRST PERSON to see the signs that an eating disorder could be in the cards. Don’t look away — please.
Thank you for posting this! I constantly worry I have passed my disordered eating on to my son-luckily, he is showing none of the signs above. It helps to have concrete things to look for.
These warning signs are dead on.
Number 1: Check. In first grade I started complaining about being fat. And I wasn’t even the teensiest bit overweight. We’ve also noticed my nephew (currently age 7) commenting about how fat he is (started at age 4.5). Very scary indeed.
Number 3: Check. In middle school, my friends who were thinner than I was (because I had already started binging and gained a considerable amount of weight) were on rice diets or cracker diets. Again, at a certain point you can’t choose your child’s friends. But you can know them and know what’s going on in everyone’s life so that it doesn’t get tangled up in your own kid’s head. And this prolly has more to do with building your own child’s self esteem, but it’s never fun to be the BIGGEST person in the group, especially amongst dieters. It’s not a red flag by any means — but a conversation about the beauty of differeny body types needs to be made. The sooner the better!
Four: Check. My French teacher in high school once asked if I had ever been diagnosed with bipolar. It was EMBARASSING as hell — but completely understandable. It was my junior year of high school, I was taking SIX AP classes, involved in three major productions at school, played softball, and took molecular biology after school in order to do a coveted summer internship. I’ve never been diagnosed with bipolar, but think about that schedule and being sixteen years old. It’s a WONDER I made it out alive. Interesting though, how my PARENTS not once ever questioned whether it was all too much. I was very clearly depressed.
Number 6: Check. Jackets in summer? And I live in the South. Need I say more. I was so covered up during 100 degree weather that my father actually thought I was hiding a pregnancy. Nope. Just my body.
Number 7: I didn’t talk about them OR write papers (that’s a first, Angelique) but I love love loved all the lifetime movies about teenage girls with eating disorders. Dying to be Thin, Center Stage, Friends til the End, Perfect Body, For the Love of Nancy, Augusta Gone, The Best Little Girl in the World.
Yeah — it’s not exactly an obsession but even NOW I still really love those movies. It’s so sad.
Number 7: I didn’t talk about them OR write papers (that’s a first, Angelique) but I love love loved all the lifetime movies about teenage girls with eating disorders. Dying to be Thin, Center Stage, Friends til the End, Perfect Body, For the Love of Nancy, Augusta Gone, The Best Little Girl in the World.
Yeah — it’s not exactly an obsession but even NOW I still really love those movies. It’s so sad.
That last bit about still loving the movies really made me smile