Eldercare today isn’t what it used to be
Grace, at I-91, Exit 6, 2 Doors From Archie’s, reacts to an NPR segment on the radio, and, discusses why she believes that caring for elders at home is different today than it was in the “good old days”.
She talks about how long ago there weren’t nearly as many elderly people to be cared for since, those who were in need of care weren’t nearly as sick, since, prior to modern medicine, a medical crisis was more likely to kill a patient rather than leave them incapacitated and in need of care.
She very accurately describes the foundation of the dilemma of the Sandwich Generation:
…the HOUSEHOLD was much more conducive to the care of dependent members at BOTH ends of the age spectrum. More people lived in the home, and they spent more time AT home. Instead of one sandwich-generation woman who works full time or spends all her time in the minivan taking the kids to soccer practice or both, there were moms, aunts, kids, cousins, servants, etc., all of whom could spread out the burden of taking care of Granddad so it didn’t drive any of them individually nuts.
As she said, eldercare today does leave much to be desired, but, I also think that some depictions of Baby Boomers as a selfish group who “can’t be bothered” with their elderly parents’ care isn’t fair.
Sure, there are people who feel that way, but, I would like to believe that the majority don’t. It’s not that people don’t want to make sacrifices to take care of the elderly, it’s just that for many reasons, circumstances for many people are different today than they were “back then”.
Perhaps we need to redefine what constitutes, not only physically, but socially acceptable “proper” care for our aging population, and, recognize that most families and caregivers are doing everything they can to do it right.
You are right-on. I spent two decades careing for seven elders. I know that is unusual, but many of the people in my sandwich generation are caring for their parents and/orgrandparents. They may or may not have them in their homes, but they are caregivers, just the same. Running to apartments and condos daily, visitng facilities, scheduling doctor appointments, being on call 24/7 for emergencies. This is caregiving. It takes an emotional toll. People need to be aware and try to find a balance, especially when they are still caring for children, as in my case. It’s worth while, but exhausting. I wrote a book about my experiences and 20 other caregivers. Not a selfish one in the lot. They say yes, it was hard, but they learned from it, and most would do it over again.