Essay Contest First Place: Sara Farley

by Sara Farley

When I saw the topic for this contest, it was not only website appropriate, but for me it was a no brainer.  Ask me to describe a lively woman and only one person comes to mind- my mother, Cathy Farley.  My mother is 59 years young and 12 years ago she was diagnosed with systemic lupus, a debilitating auto immune disease in which there is an overproduction of the white blood cells that kill off infection.  When there is no more infection to kill, the white blood cells attack the soft tissue of the body.

Because of the nature of the disease, my mother changed.   She wore sunglasses at night in a darkened room while the disease attacked her eyes.  She suffered second degree sunburns through her clothing as the disease attacked her skin.  She limped around with two canes, confined to one floor and unable to pick up her grandchildren because the disease attacked her joints.  A 48 year old woman broke down emotionally because in a short period of time, she had gone from a strong independent woman to a woman unable to work, unable to drive, and dependent upon her grown children.

That was the beginning, but my mother persevered.  I drove her to classes three days a week because she wasn’t going to let her illness stop her from finally finishing the degree she started 20 years before.  I accompanied her to Scotland because she was determined to see her father’s birthplace.  And terrified of the heights, she stood next to me at the top of the ruins of her family’s heritage, Urquhart Castle.  In the past decade she hasn’t missed a family travel opportunity to Italy or Mexico and soon she will join the rest of the Farley women at a spa retreat weekend in Key West.

My mother’s compassion and fortitude have been tested by her illness, but she has never let it best her.  She is in remission, but still has to have her blood and medication levels tested weekly.  And though she is on the best medication for her condition, she has suffered several mini strokes- each leaving her left side temporarily paralyzed.  Despite this, she works full time and continues to be the amazing matriarch of our family- immediate and extended.

Though she has felt weak, in times of need my mother has had the strength to care for her ailing mother and take in each of her three grown children and even her ex-husband until we could find our own strength to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and start again.  She has also taken the helm at all our family functions and somehow in between doctor’s appointments and working, mom finds time to babysit one or more of her four grandchildren, decorate her new home (and mine), and add to her collection of Coach bags and Longaberger baskets.

My mother isn’t the same woman she was before the disease reared its head, but she isn’t a helpless victim either.  In the 12 years since my mother has been diagnosed I have seen her become stronger and more determined.  She has an illness but she isn’t sick.  She is an example of strength and courage.  Cathy Farley is my mother, my best friend, and the liveliest woman I know.