Father’s Day and Recently Bereaved Families
June 18, 2009 by Katelyn Thomas
Filed under Home & Living
Father’s Day is becoming more and more commercialized and heavily promoted. Everywhere someone looks, there are signs that say “Remember Dad” or big displays of Father’s Day cards. I usually don’t think twice about things like this, but someone mentioned wanting to have a party for a dad who recently lost his own father, only to discover that he really wasn’t in the mood for a celebration.
Photo:SXC
So what to do in this case? I’d ask. Turns out this recently bereaved dad wanted to go visit the cemetary and leave flowers for his father. Maybe another dad would enjoy passing something his father taught him on to his son, like how to fish, golf, or swim.
Whatever you do, don’t pretend the grieving dad isn’t thinking about his father. It may be easier and less awkward to ignore the loss, but a, “Hey, did I ever tell you about the time your dad thought he caught a monster fish and reeled in an old bike tire instead?” is a great way to show that you are thinking about him, too.
My mother told me the other day that her narcissistic son-in-law had the audacity to dictate to her as to how not to bring up the mention of her deceased daughter’s name in front of her grandchildren and if the children should mention about their mother it is to be ignored! Could you imagine someone saying this to a mother who has lost their child ,let alone to a child;to act as if that loved one never existed!(cold and evil comes to mind) Life does go on,as does the memory of a loved one. To some anyway….But for a child , they will never forget their mother. And for those that have TRUELY loved someone, they hold the memory of that person dear to their hearts.
Totally can relate to this since my dad died. I’m now okay with celebrating with my father-in-law and letting that be cool, but I still wish my dad was around, too.