Fear Can Worsen CFS Symptoms
August 30, 2007 by laura
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
Fear is very draining.
All of us have been in a situation, where fear gets the best of us. We experience an adrenaline rush for a little while ~ and then WHAM….exhaustion hits. Fears can be rational or irrational. The reactions are one and the same. No matter what you fear, when faced with it – it will almost always leave you completely devastated with exhaustion and other symptoms of trauma.
I have a friend, “Bob” who experiences some symptoms of CFS, but doesn’t actually suffer from the illness. Last night we were talking about what exacerbates his symptoms. His response was “the mail”. He hasn’t gone to pick up his mail in weeks, because of this fear. For him (I suspect) bad news is hand delivered (or at least mail carrier delivered). How do you stop it? Well you can’t stop the mail…it just keeps coming. What is their motto? Neither sleet, nor snow, nor rain can stop the postal service. He realizes that his fear is irrational, yet he just can’t bring himself to go and get it. Eventually he is going to have to face the fear….but for now, thinking about it just wears him out. And that’s ok, because his mail is going to be there tomorrow. When he is ready, he will open his mailbox.
Now for me, I also have an unnatural fear. I am afraid of squirrels. Dead ones, actually. I know! I told you it was unnatural. It started off the summer before my senior year at university, hanging out by the pool at my parent’s house. When I noticed a squirrel floating face down in the hot tub…..by the end of summer, I had pulled out at least half a dozen soggy squirrels.
When I went back to school that fall, the squirrels followed me…..stiff squirrels sprawled out on the sidewalk. I freaked! I completely lost it. Now, when I see squirrels in the city, or in my back yard – my heart beats really fast, I break out in a sweat, and my mouth goes dry. I seem to be stuck in place – not being able to move at all. When I finally am able to relax, and make it home. I crawl into bed and pull the covers up to my neck, and stay there for what seems like days, but in reality is probably a little over 12 hrs. I will just be tucked into bed, shivering- until I fall asleep….and even when that happens, sleep will be fitful at best.
I have tried to talk myself through it. After all, they are just squirrels, right? They can not possibly hurt me. It doesn’t make any difference at all, that my head knows what its talking about. It can not control the reaction. Fear is very draining.
Do you have a fear? And what do you do to cope, so that your cfs symptoms aren’t quadrupled.
I wonder what the technical term for Bob’s phobia is. Refusing to check your mail seems like it would eventually really affect day-to-day life – maybe he should seek counseling?
For me, it’s spiders. Spiders and flying. I don’t know which is worse, because I’ve had more experience with my fear of spiders than my fear of flying, given I’ve never actually flown.
Seriously, I’d rather open a kitchen cabinet and find a rat than walk outside and find a quarter-sized spider on my door.
I’m also terrified of drain pipes. Those that you find somewhere around a man-made lake or under roads to help prevent flooding between two roads or whatever. OMG, terrifying.
Alicia,
never ever live in a basement apartment. You won’t be able to cope. Spiders are a way of life in that kind of setting. But, if you put chestnuts in the corner of a room, you will rid of any spider problem.
The fear of flying is a really common one, especially in this day and age. Flight crews are very understandable though, and usually try to make the flight really comfortable for the person with the fear…..barring that, there are always sedatives, I suppose.
I am not sure what the drain pipes you are referring to are. Is it the really large pvc tubes?
what is it about them, that bother you?
Thanks for chiming in!
Wow, I’ve never heard of the chestnuts – I will definitely try it!
LOL, don’t worry – no one ever knows what I’m talking about with the drain pipe thing. Here are some links to pictures of what I’m talking about:
http://lang.dailybulletin.com/socal/beyondborders/part_4/4.jpg
http://www.normandie-chambres.co.uk/ima/buse%20pipe%20water.jpg
http://i140.photobucket.com/albums/r3/jdprevost/RIMG0055.jpg
OK I know what you are talking about now. When I was a kid, I thought trolls lived there. I can totally understand a fear of those things.
The chestnuts really work with the spider problem. I had a huge problem with spiders last year…thankfully I am not scared of them, but I did sense they were taking over. The chestnuts worked really well
Now if I could just do something about the cobwebs. I heard from a feng shui expert that cobwebs come from bad energy. Imagine that, a person with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, having bad energy…..ironic!
Yup, spiders and flying for me too! I haven’t travelled by plane since developing this illness but a few months before, I did visit friends in the States. Boy, the fear really hits a punch and leaves you weak and wobbly for days. Every time I fly, I swear it will be the last.
It’s such a good things you guys don’t live in my neck of the woods – you sure can tell that summer is over, because the spiders are looking to come inside.
Andie, what do you do to get on a plane – to conquer at least the first step in your fear.
Poor squirrels! I’d be afraid of hot tubs. Or people who don’t cover their hot tubs (isn’t that illegal?).
Ha! Not funny!
uncovered hot tubs aren’t illegal if you are going to use them. it just so happens that every time I was going to use it, a squirrel beat me to it.
By the way, I don’t use hot tubs anymore, either.
Well, they are giant vats of bacteria. But they feel so good. I don’t blame the squirrels for being lured in! Perhaps hot tub manufacturers should add little ladders so small animals can get out if they fall in…
the first time I read your comment, I thought you were suggesting that I willingly share my hot tub with animals….ew! surely that can’t be right.
can animals climb ladders that are in water?
a dog once fell into the pool…and he was so freaked out, that there was no way that he would be able to use the ladder. Thank god, the cover wasn’t on – otherwise the poor thing would have drowned.
He only got out, because my brother and i used the skimmer pole to maneuver him to the edge and sort of pull him out.
It was a really bad night!
I have bad news for you: you’re an animal, and so is everyone you’ve hot-tubbed with!
ok ok!
I would much rather discuss Bob’s fear of the mail. Do you have any insight on that?
Well, the first thing is that Bob needs to know that whatever strange feelings he may be getting when he goes to get the mail can’t hurt him. He won’t have a heart attack, he won’t pass out, he won’t go crazy. The worst that will happen is he’ll feel tired afterwards, and from the sounds of it, that is already happening. What this all means is that there is nothing physically stopping him from getting the mail. He can go get the mail and go home and he will be OK, no matter what.
Really the key to overcoming a phobia is to do the thing, in baby steps, and put it right in front of your eyes and show your brain that it’s not actually hurting you. We can only physically live in the present–it doesn’t matter what may happen in the future–if it’s not hurting you now, you’re not hurt, and that’s all that matters.
We are not designed to deal with unknown hypothetical future problems. The brain gets overwhelmed because there are no boundaries to hypothetical problems. Unless Bob is psychic, he doesn’t actually know what is in the mail, and he won’t know how he feels about it until he opens it. Sometimes in life you just have to dive in and see what happens, trusting in the universal human ability to deal with concrete problems *after* they arise.
By the way, may I say how clever it was of you to find a squirrel-shaped mailbox?
Sylvia,
Excellent advice, I couldn’t have said it any better.
And secondly,
it was rather clever of me, wasn’t it.
Alicia – I knew what you meant straight away – stormwater drains. They’re my stock in trade as I’m a water engineer. They’re not scary really, they just help rainwater drain away so it doesn’t wash houses, cars or people away. I have looked down dozens, both with the nake eye, and with video cameras going right into the depths of them. There’s not much in there, nothing to be afraid of, at worst some unwanted tree roots. Of course in some ways you’re right to be scared of them though, don’t climb in them or stormwater could drown you.
I don’t really have any irrational fears. I’m terribly afraid of hurting myself though. Sometimes I imagine up scenarios that involve bad injuries coming about from the most normal day to day tasks. I can pretty much talk myself out of them though, fortunately, otherwise I’d probably sit at home curled up in a ball and not do anything!
Ellie – Once (just…oh, a month or so) I was at a man-made lake and we were trying to find a way through all this muddy land (it was past the lake) to get to a cute little bonfire area that was make kind of like Shakespeare’s Globe. Anyway, during our mission we found the source of the muddy earth – a huge drain pipe coming from the lake! Why we didn’t discover/hear it until we were right up on it is beyond me, but as soon as I saw it I became so dizzy and shaky, I thought I was going to fall into the water – even though I was about five or six feet from where the pipe was draining. It was crazy. You are a brave, brave person in my book!
Sylvia – what do you think of Maury Povich’s way of “breaking” people of their phobias? Have you seen his talk show episodes on that?
I just wanted to chime in here, and say how very pleased I am with this discussion. I want to give you all a very big hug!
I know that Ellie, probably has an idea of what I am referring to…and I will fill the rest of you in on another time.
I heart you all!
OK go back to the discussion. I am very happy to sit back and read this!
Laura, whenever I travel by air it’s to see dearly loved friends, so I am usually incredibly excited that I ignore my anxious feelings until the plane is about to take off. Then it’s too late to back-out. I can’t bear the take off or landing – I hear all sorts of strange engine noises and I’m always convinced something awful is about to happen.
I’m usually okay once we’re in the air – as long as the speed remains constant, there’s no airpockets and there’s no drastic drop in altitude. I watch the screen constantly to check for any changes – it’s the only way I can deal with it; I need to know whether a problem is about to arise – crazy, I know.
Andie,
Sounds like you deal with your fear of flying admirably. It does NOT sound crazy to me at all.
I have a problem with flying as well, although it has nothing to do with fear. The landing is really hard on me…the pressure in my head is almost unbearable. Its been bad enough that I have asked a man who I was sitting next to (I had never met him up until that flight) if I could hold his hand. I am sure if he knew I was going to dig what little nails I have into his skin, he never would have said yes.
I usually pretend that I am on a roller coaster, and remind myself that its only going to be a moment before things go back to normal.
I am glad to know that you aren’t letting your fear stop you from travelling.
Alicia, I’m afraid I’m not too familiar with Maury Povich. I’m guessing his method is exciting to watch but of questionable long-term effect!
Sylvia – On his phobia shows, he brings guests on who have phobias of both common nature (spiders, snakes, etc.) and uncommon nature. Then he has a “specialist” cure them of their phobias – nothing supernatural or weird or anything – just helps them along. Then, at the end of the show, the guests are supposed to be unafraid.
A family friend actually went on the show about 3 years ago – she was scared of snakes. By the end of the show she could touch one. However, now, three years later, she’s terrified again!
That sounds about like what I would expect!