1) Many other parents/families are in the same boat, so you are definitely not alone, and can take some solace in that.

2) He’s still a good, caring kid. You should take heart in that, because that is as important and defining as anything in life. And is a reflection of your parental love and attention over the years.

3) As one counseling instructor told me in college, at the end of the day, we can’t take direct responsibilitiy for others’ feelings and how they choose to respond to life. People are responsible for their own behavior. Easier said than done, I know, but others here have offered that same kind of thought. I buy it as well.

4) As one boss told me, no matter how others may try to guide or help or instruct or scold, some people have to step in a big pile of sh*t before the light comes on. That’s the only way they get it.

5) It sounds like you’re conscientious and clued in to your kid’s life that, in the long term, a successful milestone will emerge, whenever or whatever that is. It’s not like you’ve abandoned him. That will count in the long run. In the meantime, as others have mentioned, you may have to cut him loose for a while.

6) Does he have any close friends who are trying to get through to him? Or are they kind of in the same boat with their lives?

I’ve talked to a few other mothers with sons like this– they were homeschooling already– and the gist of it was, they need to be released. Let them fail, get off their back, let them quit high school and get on with their life. They have made up their mind, and aren’t likely to change it. Even New Hampshire is talking about having high school end at 10th grade now! Remember the 12 years of education model is relatively new, historically speaking, and I can’t say it’s been a smashing success, looking at our society today.

Most community colleges require neither high school diploma nor G.E.D.: they only require the incoming student take placement tests. Then the student can begin classes based upon the testing. The student can get A.A. degrees in many job fields, and then can transfer to a 4 year university-one day, when he chooses- with just the community college transcripts.

There is also Accelerated Education-

Here are some books I recommend:

&lt;a href="http://www.amazon.com/Teenage-Liberation-Handbook-School-Education/dp/0962959170/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1227118352&amp;sr=8-1"The Teenage Liberation Handbook</a>
&lt;a href="http://www.amazon.com/Accelerated-Distance-Learning-College-Twenty-First/dp/0970156316/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1227118411&amp;sr=8-1"Accelerated Distance Learning</a>

As for your son, it sounds like he’s just being stubborn. It also seems like you’ve done everything you possibly could, and maybe letting him fail and learn from his own mistakes is the best thing to do now. Maybe when you stop “caring” about his grades, he’ll stop trying to prove something to you. It seems like a power struggle, and maybe if you stopped fighting him he’d get bored with a one-sided fight and start trying again. Let’s hope, right?

Good luck!