Fight between boys puts mom in jail
A fight between two Indiana boys landed the mother of one of the boys in jail last week after she encouraged the fight and refused to break it up.
For those wondering, NO it wasn’t me!
Although I have to admit, I would like to beat the mother for being quoted as saying: “The police didn’t bother to talk to none of the neighbors on this side of the street or nobody else,” they just talked to them, and that’s all.”
In all seriousness, and I know it’s tough to be serious following a statement like that – but as the mother of kids who have been on the being bullied side of things, I can’t say that I would never tell my kids to stand there and just take it. In fact, I’ve told my kids ways to get situations under control that might not be agreeable to everyone else.
I’m all about creative revenge. Sometimes it might hurt, but most times I offer advice to my kids in ways that will provide a major blow to the offenders ego rather than inflict bodily harm.
As stated a few days back, I’ve tried to instruct my kids to take appropriate actions before by reporting offenses to the adult in charge but that doesn’t always work.
Years ago, I read that making a person own their actions and calling them out on them can change the entire course of action. For example, if someone were to ask you an uncomfortable question, you could easily turn it around to make them the uncomfortable one by simply asking, “why do you want to know?”
Calling a person out for being a bully could potentially have the same impact but only if it’s done at the appropriate time and in front of the people they try to impress most.
What do you think? Are parents wrong to encourage their kids to defend themselves? Should a parent ever tell their child it’s ok to fight?
hat tip: Eliza
I think that parents should encourage their kids to defend themselves. Nobody should take bullying from anybody else. My parents have always told me that if someone hits me, I have every right to hit them back. (Luckily I’ve never had to get into any fights.) I’ve heard a lot of parents say that violence is not the answer, but sometimes its what you gotta do.
I have two boys and you bet I would encourage them to stand up for themselves,..but, if there was someone around to tell – that’s what I would want them to do first,..if the bully catches them behind the gym, I’m going to tell them to kick his butt.
But, if I were THERE, I can’t see it escalating to that point in the first place, and yes, I would break it up. Just like a teacher, or any other authority figure should.
This is hard and I have struggled with what to tell my son on this one…
My gut and everything inside of me wants to tell him to stand up for himself. If someone hits him, he shouldn’t just take it, he has every right to defend himself. But I know that the police and society don’t deal with things that way, and assault charges can be pretty serious.
By the way, I know this from experience – my husband attacked me, but left no marks, and I defended myself, and guess who was the one that went to jail?
Been there, done that – and in a situation when someone is bullying my child, if he defends himself, the reality is that *he* could be charged with assault. Ridiculous yes, but true.
So the question is do I put him into that situation where he gets in trouble because of something like that, and Mom told him to do it? Or do I tell him not to be violent whatsoever, even if someone is pounding on him?
Thank God I’m not there yet, but it is something I’ve gone over in my mind. I’m not really sure what I will tell him when the time comes.