Financial Compatibility: How Important Is It to You?

Image by DavidDMuir
via FlickrOkay, as I’ve stated in the past, I’ve not got the greatest history of being fiscally responsible. I’m working on it, but in the meantime, I tend to find myself thinking about the what if’s of meeting someone who doesn’t have the same financial goals as I do.

In a nutshell:

• My ex was horrible about money. He wouldn’t turn the heat up past 60 degrees in winter, and I froze my ass off all the time. We’d go out to eat, and if he was paying, we shared a meal. He was right on top of things like, “I bought lunch, you have to buy dinner,” and making sure that things were financially balanced, yet he never got me anything (not even a card) for Christmas or Valentine’s Day, and I’d spent a bucketload on him. We rarely went out for any entertainment, it was always renting a movie and staying in. This man was TOO penny-pinching tight for me.
• I have a guy friend who eventually got to the point where he’d have me hold on to his money whenever we went out anywhere, to keep him from blowing it on drinks for the whole bar in one shot. We’d go out, and both be meandering about, so if I wasn’t in immediate proximity he couldn’t spend his money. He’d have to hunt me down, and then I’d give him $20 at a time. This man would be not penny-pinching enough for me.

Here are my personal goals, financially speaking:

• Get myself to some regular income. Right now it’s hit or miss, though I do have some guaranteed funds coming in each month, it’s not enough. No guy can help me with this (as I’m not a gold-digger) but it’s a goal I have for myself. I need to be able to make my bills!
• Save up enough to get a 15% or greater deposit on a house.
• Start contributing to my IRA again. It’s been sitting there since 2004 with no additional money added. I want money for retirement, if I ever get there, dammit.
• Start a 6-month emergency fund so that if anything ever happened, I’d be able to cover bills for up to 6 months.
• Have a fund set up so that in the event I don’t wind up with Mr. Right by the time I’m 34 (there are solid medical reasons for this), that I can venture out to buy some baby makin’ fertilizer.
• Have another “fun fund” so that I can enjoy life NOW, as opposed to waiting for retirement (because let’s face it, it’s likely I might work til I die). This is for vacations, special purchases, etc.

Are these unreasonable? With the exception of the “baby makin’ fertilizer” is it wrong for me to want someone with similar goals, or someone who’s reached these goals already?

Also, how soon is “too soon” to talk about money when you’re dating someone new? I’m not so much interested in details of what someone makes by the third date, but rather comparing ideas about what our definitions of “fiscal responsibility” and “enjoying life” are. I really don’t ever want to date another penny-pinching tightwad again, but I don’t want to worry that the mortgage will be blown at the bar, either.