Fine Dining with Baby: Tips for the Weary
March 29, 2009 by Jennifer Walker-Journey
Filed under Parenting
Nothing prepared me for the mess my child would make once he began teaching himself to eat. It overwhelmed me. My new, custom breakfast room drapes and freshly painted walls were covered with specks of food. I simply couldn’t get it all off. I finally resorted to spot-cleaning the drapes with Shout and painting over the nastiest wall stains.
When our son was about a year old, we got up the nerve to venture out and take him to some of the nicer restaurants. Truman left a generous mess. After one particularly messy trip to our favorite casual Italian restaurant, GianMarco’s, the owner told us he bought a vacuum cleaner and named it The Truman.
It wasn’t until he was 3 ½ that we finally became comfortable with taking him to nicer restaurants. Here’s what we learned to make the experience as stress-free as possible:
- First, teach your kid how to sit for meals with the family. I have a girlfriend who leads a most unstructured life – which is fine as long as they don’t go to restaurants where you are required to, like, sit. At family gatherings her son will not sit at the table with the rest of the family because he has never had to do it at home.
- Build up expectations. Our first successful fine-dining outing was while we were out of town. We ate at a local steakhouse, like a Fleming’s. We hyped it up most of the afternoon that we were all going to a grown-up restaurant and how important it was for our son to be on his best behavior. We dressed him up in “special clothes” and he seemed to be excited about the notion. And we reminded him constantly how one acts in a grown-up restaurant so he wouldn’t forget.
- Occupy his mind. We let him bring a small toy, like two HotWheels cars. We also bring a pen and a small pad so he can doodle, which he seems to enjoy, as most of the finer restaurants don’t plan for kids with kids’ menus and crayons. Oh, and the iPhone makes for minutes of entertainment!
I will never claim to be an expert in child-rearing, but these tips helped us teach our son how to behave in finer restaurants. Please add more tips if you have them.
I agree totally. When Capra was 3 or 4, we went to a fairly nice restaurant in St. Louis to celebrate my grandmother’s 90th birthday, eight of us altogether. It was a three hour event and she was very, very good. At one point between courses my husband took her out to the restaurant’s patio (it was too early in the season for any diners) to let her stretch her legs a little.
One more tip: Order some sort of appetizer right away, or have some small nibbles with you. I have even resorted to bribery with a few skittles.
And if there’s no kids menu, so what? Share some of your food, order an appealing appetizer or side dish for your child.
You also can practice at more mid-level restaurants. And really, we expect the same behavior whether we’re at the local pizza joint or someplace more fancy — or at home. You don’t get up and run around the table, you don’t yell or sing loudly, you use good table manners.
Yes…the FOOD IMMEDIATELY tactic. I forgot that one!
And I’ve also found that those nice restaurants may not have kiddie menus but they certainly don’t mind whipping up a burger or something special for kids.
Please, no matter what, do not let your child out of their chair in a sit-down restaurant. I worked in food service for years, and saw two terrible accidents involving children. One involved a child that ran away from his table and smashed into a server carrying a loaded tray. Most of the plates on the tray came down on the child, one breaking his front teeth.
The other involved a child who lunged up to grab a waitress’ tray that had a full coffee pot on it. Not wanting the child burned, the teen waitress yanked the tray toward herself and poured almost a whole pot of coffee down the front of her polyester uniform. We packed her uniform with ice while we waited for the ambulance. She has permanent scarring on her chest and breasts.
I will NOT dine with parents who cannot control their small children in restaurants. It goes far beyond simply annoying other diners. It endangers the child, the restaurant staff, and other diners who may be injured.
Also, please tip extra if your child makes a huge mess. People tip based on the amount of the check, despite the fact that small children often don’t get entrees.
Some nice restaurants are staring to offer “family dining time” when small children are expected and given extra accommodation. Childless diners know to avoid the place at those times.
Great tips. But…O-M-G! That coffee thing… FRIGHTFUL!