Fish in the Sea

A Difficult Youth Is A Good Thing for a Fisher——um, a fish, according to a study about the Bluehead Wrasse reported about in Science Daily back in February:

[Scientists] discovered that fish larvae that survive a long, rough, offshore journey eventually arrive at a near shore reef in good condition, and that they thrive afterwards.In contrast, locally produced young have a relatively easy life and they arrive on the reef (near the area where they were spawned) in a variety of conditions –– from poor to good. Only the young that are in good condition survive after a month on the reef.

Fisher is Charlie’s last name and his childhood (these first ten years and ten-plus months) has definitely been a journey upstream, in a rough current. We’ve all become better swimmers along the way, though it’s Charlie who is still the kingfish, in his natural element in the water.

No surprise then when, on a trip to the aquarium with my parents today Charlie (who is on spring break from school) closely followed the path of a swimming shark in the Shark Realm. My dad noted that Charlie’s eyes closely followed the path of a shark who swam over their heads. After seeing some scuba divers in the tanks to feed the sharks, Charlie indicated that he wanted to go for a swim too (at which point I reminded my dad that, had Charlie managed to get in the tank, my dad would have been obliged to carry out his grandfatherly duty and jump in after Charlie).

As usual, being on Spring Break is disrupting Charlie on every front, from his sleep schedule to his sense of order. My parents suggested Mexican take-out for dinner. Charlie said “no” and paused and took his plate of rice and beans (fast devoured over the weekend), looked at it for a few minutes, and threw it. And burst into loud tears, so that it took several minutes before he bent over and scraped up the thrown food and put it into the garbage, me assisting with paper towels and soap (and wonderng why it always happens that I wear a new shirt on the days these things happen, because they don’t happen so much). Still crying, Charlie got into the shower and turned on the water, and I stood by with shampoo and soap and told him I was glad that he had tried to tell us how he felt.

“Better next time,” I said.

“Next time,” said Charlie.

I thought some more and it occurred to me, that Charlie does not know how to say “I don’t want” as “I don’t want rice and beans now, I don’t feel like it.” He might say “no” to food but when he sees and smells and has a plate of it, did cognitive dissonance set in? Here he had a plate of food he liked but he didn’t want to eat it, but he knew that eating the food was what to do with it, but he didn’t want to, and what was he do to?

Time to teach “I don’t want.”

And to remember, a difficult youth can be a good thing for a fish.