Food Memories of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver

“Where’s my meat?” I asked my husband Jim when I returned to the dining table.  The hamburger that had been on my plate was gone.

“Don’t look at me,” he remarked.  “Look at Mother!”

Sure enough, my mom was happily munching my hamburger, having finished hers.

This became a challenge at meal time.  Mother might finish something she liked, then look around for more, not realizing my plate or Jim’s wasn’t a platter for her to select from.  This also became a problem at the nursing home I used for day care. She either helped her neighbors cut their meat or took it for her own.  Finally they sat her at a TV tray by herself, yet in the dining room.

I recall my aunt’s love of sweets as she journeyed into Alzheimer’s.  This also didn’t help her diabetes, which generally could be controlled by watching her diet, not medication. 

When she lived with my mom, who was showing the initial signs of Alzheimer’s, I became involved in Auntie’s care.  We had to hide sweets so Auntie wouldn’t find them and eat too much.  Her judgment about food choices was like a child’s

But I recall her delight when we could let her indulge…the beaming smile that lit her face as she observed an eclair on her plate. 

Tea parties with Mother created fond memories for my grandchildren and me.  Mother had a custom (handed down from her mother) of offering a cup of tea whenever someone visited her home.  She and I often chatted over tea and snacks and caught up on family news.  So it seemed natural to continue this practice in the nursing home.

My grandchildren soon looked forward to “tea parties with Great Grandma.”  We’d bring muffins or cookies, perhaps cheese and crackers, with us and make tea at the nurses’ station.  Or I might pick up something at the nearby fast food restaurant and get the children kiddie meals.

When Mother became increasingly unable to feed herself, we had to do it.  One day I wasn’t paying attention so my 6-year old granddaughter reminded, “Nanny, feed your mother.”  It seemed the most natural activity to Kara that we did this so Great Grandma could enjoy the party, too.

Perhaps you can initiate a tea party or some other activity involving food for your family and family member with Alzheimer’s.  These make for wonderful memories, too.