For the List-maker: Setting Dating Or Relationship Goals

Sunday is my favorite day of the week. Saturday, that’s my laying around day, but Sunday is my self pep-talk day. My get-a-clue, make-a-plan day of the week.

Last Monday was my birthday. For awhile now, I’ve been examining some of the choices that I’ve made in my life and I’m trying to figure out a way that I could make my them easier to live with. Today, I’m going to be writing down some goals for how I’d like the next part of my life to play out.

One part of my life that isn’t as satisfying to me as it could is my romantic life. My boyfriend, I love him, but we are at a point in our relationship where I feel that we are pretty disconnected. I would like to remedy this problem.

I had some insomnia issues the other night and because I was tired and frustrated, I found myself focusing on the things that were bothering me. I made up a pros and cons list for my relationship. My friend, Sabrina*, agreed that the list was a good idea. This is what she had to say on the subject of pros and cons, “Do not keep reading them. Tell yourself you are going to set them aside say for a week or two. Then, when you have cleared your head, revisit them. Some of them might not even be valid cons while others you might want to put a big fat star on and really think about them.”

Today I am going to write down a list of Relationship Goals. Some of the goals will include things like paying down my debt, so that if the opportunity to move to his town comes up, I can actually afford to do so. I think that living in the same town would help my relationship to progress at a more realistic pace. A long term, long distance relationship is not my goal. I want to see my guy for more than 2 days a month. I want to get to know his children better.

If you are dating or currently dateless, a list of Relationship Goals or Dating Goals may help you, as well. Include timelines and steps that you will take in order to reach these goals. Say, your main goal is to be married. You could then put sub-headings under “Married” including the steps it would take to get there, how you would reach those steps, the things you can do on a monthly, weekly, and even daily basis to get to accomplish these steps and your ultimate goal.

For example, to meet someone you need to first be confident about who you are. You could start really basic by cleaning out your closet and making sure that you get rid of all unflattering clothing. Only dress in things that make you feel good about the way you look at the size or shape you are now. This will help to avoid that, “Oh I’ll try to meet someone after I lose weight,” mindset. No one benefits from that sort of negative thinking. You are good enough now. If you have forgotten this, then please reread this post, How To Be Irresistible

Maybe cleaning out your closet doesn’t seem to have anything to do with dating, it’s only one idea and the first one that occurred to me, but I believe that by taking steps to organize your life, you are allowing things to flow and improving your chances of attaining your goals. By taking charge of your destiny and facing each day with a sense of your goals, you are going to continue making steps in the right direction.

What do you think? Do you have ideas for goals of a romantic nature? Are you a fan of goal-setting or do you see it as a waste of time?

*Sabrina is a not my friend’s real name.