Forgotten Lunch
I feel like such a ba
d Mom right now! My daughter, who turns 10 tomorrow, forgot the lunch she packed for herself on the counter. She just called from school – a whopping 20 minutes before lunch – to ask me to bring it to her so she didn’t have to buy lunch today.
And I said, no. It is pouring down rain, she has plenty of money on her lunch account, and it was her responsibility to take what she needed with her this morning. I didn’t even make the girls ride the bus – I let them sleep in and drove them to school.
What would you have done? Taken it to her, or made her buy her lunch?
Photo: Amazon
I would have made her buy it, and not just because I’m usually at work when she’s at school anyway (and it would take an hour to drive there and back). No, kids sometimes have to learn responsibility the hard way. Mine is always forgetting things lately! I’m hoping the consequences will motivate her to try harder. I am always getting “But it’s not my fault! I have a bad memory”, and when I tell her that she needs to find ways to work around that (make lists, put a reminder in your phone, etc) it falls on deaf ears. Arg.
Lunch account? How does that work? Does she have a line of credit at school?
I’d have taken it – but then I live 150 yards from the school my 9 yr old goes to. If I didn’t take it, I’m sure they’d feed him and bill me later.
For my older children? School is 4 miles away, so that’s a drive. But no money in pocket, no lunch (no account system here), and that’s not good for learning in the afternoon. I’m lucky I work from home, so could do it if I needed to. But I wouldn’t have been pleased, and they’d have heard about it!
Completely take the point about responsibility, but I think sometimes people need rescuing, and that can be a lesson well learnt too.
I certainly don’t think that makes you a bad mother! After all, she ate, didn’t she?
I think that you did the right thing. It was a good lesson for her to learn both about being responsible for remembering to take her lunch and about consequences if she doesn’t. Having to settle for an alternative to what she wanted because of her mistake is a good thing to learn. And, the alternative, while not her first choice was not detrimental to her.
I also agree with Lucy – if the alternative would have been no lunch for her, then I taking her the lunch (or a substitute for the lunch) would have been appropriate. At 10, we don’t want kids lessons to be overly painful!!
So, I think you sound like an excellent mother!!
Cathy
I feel better knowing I’m not the only one that would have had her buy lunch. We do have accounts – I usually send in a check for $30 or so at the beginning of the school year and if they buy lunch it comes out of their account. We can actually check the balance online.
So while she didn’t get the lunch she wanted, she had plenty of choices (they have a main hot lunch choice, plus the option of a salad lunch or a “fun” lunch which is basically a sandwich, raw veggies and yogurt).
I would have done the same. It’s only lunch. For me, driving back to school would be an hour drive and even if my kid had to go without lunch one day (which would never happen because someone would either lend her the money or charge it), she wouldn’t die…it’s only one meal She would learn that she remembers to take her lunch or she goes hungry.
I agree with the others. I think you did the right thing. She still got lunch so she’s good. Plus now she already has lunch for tomorrow too. And I bet she’ll remember it tomorrow.
We have lunch accounts here too. I put money on the kids’ account they give their pin number (yes like an ATM number, but without the ATM card) to the cashier and their accounts get credited.
No harm, no foul. You did fine. I’m actually a little bit harsher, I would have let mine figure it out for herself (we don’t have lunch accounts, we pre-pay but let them know what they are buying on what day). I actually know someone who’s mom made him pack his own starting in FIRST grade. He forgot 1 time. That to me seems too much, but he survived it.
I like the idea of pre-paying on an account for the children to have lunch! I wonder if that’ll ever get introduced here?
You say you can check the balance online – can you also check what they bought?
My daughter’s middle school has a great lunch payment method. They have student IDs with their latest school picture on them, and they just scan them to buy lunch, like a debit card. There’s a website I can go to and add money to her account and it emails me when the balance goes below $5. You can also have it automatically deduct when it gets low, but for someone like me who lives paycheck to paycheck, that’s a bad idea.
Still, cool system.
You did the right thing. The only thing I’ve made a special trip to school to deliver was some Advil when my son hurt his foot.
Oh…I would have done exactly the same thing. It’s not like she has to go without lunch. You’re teaching her to take responsibility for her actions (or lack thereof) without hurting her or withholding anything she truly needs.
I have done that very thing. Several times. There are also times where I took it to her (I was going out anyway and lunch is the highlight of her day). I understand forgetfulness.. haven’t we done the same? Oops, forgot something and we call our hubbys to fetch it for us? We’re human. Its going to happen. Sometimes. And sometimes we’ll bring it and sometimes we won’t.