Friday Funnies – well, maybe April 1st funnies instead

Today is April Fools day (poisson d’Avril, it’s called here in Quebec) so I’d like to do something different today. This is an essay written by humorist Judy Gruen and comedian Mark Schiff. Judy agreed to let me post it here for your enjoyment.

Take Your Sense of Humor to Work Day

By Judy Gruen and Mark Schiff

To real connoisseurs of comedy, April Fool’s Day is almost as dangerous as drunk drivers on New Year’s Eve. On both days, the roads and offices are filled with amateurs. But since there is an April Fool’s Day — do you know where your sense of humor is? You better find it fast before frisky co-workers plant some authentic-looking fake fruit that you might crack three $1,200 dollar crowns on, or send a department-wide email announcing the company is going under so you can all take your computers home. Funny, huh? Yes, today of all days, be prepared for acts of chicanery and tomfoolery by would-be jesters. If you find them funny, enjoy. If not, sue them for insensitivity and you might make a Wall Street titan’s annual salary from a few trips to the courthouse.

Let’s face it, people find different things funny. Hiding someone’s false teeth is always a laugh riot unless they’re your choppers and you planned a steak dinner. Rubbing Limburger cheese in your dad’s underwear drawer is also a reliable killer — unless the washing machine is broken. Some people like corny jokes; others love drollery. Some like crude and rude humor. But everybody loves to laugh, and will pay a steep price — even public humiliation — to howl till they hurt.

For example, most human beings would find incontinence to be a horribly embarrassing problem, unless you’re a baby or a low-bottom alcoholic. But people will gleefully tell comedians after a show, “I laughed so hard, I peed in my pants!” Not only aren’t they ashamed — they want to know where you’re performing next so they can bring the whole family. And honestly, you’d never return to a doctor who made you spit a lung, caused you to convulse or feel near death. But appreciative fans of wisecrackers freely admit, “I nearly busted a gut!” or “You almost killed me!” And they mean it as a compliment.

But jokesters beware: While you may want to inject humor at the office today, jesting in the workplace has become the equivalent of standing on a scaffold on the 92^nd floor of the Empire State Building with no harness in your underwear. Formerly sacred categories of laugh fodder are now on the endangered species list, at least outside a nightclub stage. Even lawyers are not free game anymore. A plaintiff’s attorney (who else?) recently sued a blogger over remarks made about said lawyer. Guess who won?

In honor of National Humor Month, beginning today, here is a partial list of things we may no longer joke about, under threat of lawsuit or being blogged about on the Huffington Post with many four-letter words. Check back with us soon — the list will undoubtedly grow: airport security, women, being corporeally inflated (formerly known as “fat”), women, buck teeth, cross-eyed people, inverted intelligence (formerly known as “dumb”), women, Islam, (fundamentalist Christians, Catholics and Jews still okay), little people (formerly known as “midgets”), women, people of color, the follically challenged, women, Chinese waiters, drunken Irishmen, women, asking co-workers if they had beans for lunch, World Leprosy Day (January 29, if you want to mark your calendars), and that old standby, sex.

Politically correct (or incorrect) humor aside, the best and the funniest people are the ones who remain authentically themselves. Just like tears, laughter also comes from a deep place, releasing a well of emotions that helps us cope with life’s absurdities, frustrations, and minor tragedies. So yuk it up as much as you can. After all, you’re going to die one day. Funny, huh?

Judy Gruen is a humorist whose latest book is The Women’s Daily Irony Supplement. You can read more of her work on www.judygruen.com. Mark Schiff is a stand-up comedian and co-author of I Killed: True Stories of the Road from America’s Top Comics. Contact him through www markschiff.com.

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Image: iStock.com