Friday the 13th Horror Story

There was once this old lady, a lovely Southern woman, who was a very good cook. The secret ingredient to the meals – tireless labor and sugar. She had a house full of children who grew up and had houses full of children, who in their turn, grew up and had houses full of children.

Every once in a while some of these grandchildren and great-grandchildren would visit the old lady and marvel at the yumminess of all the food. Plate upon plate of sugared squash, cornbread and biscuits both at meals, sausage gravy, black-eyed peas, home-made jams and jelly’s and relishes, sliced roast beef, fruit salad with walnuts, canteloupe and fruit dip, and Blue Bell ice cream and two home-made pies. That’s just lunch.

Before the dishwasher was fully loaded and the lunch table wiped down, the old woman began opening cans and packages and got out her handy mixer.

Are you already cooking for dinner? One of the grandchildren asked, incredulous.

Well, of course I am! Exclaimed the grandmother.

Well, all those dishes are enough to make me scream anyway.