From the department of “We knew that”
July 15, 2009 by Jill Cornfield
Filed under Health
Researchers at the University of Washington Autism Center set out to determine the answer to the question, is raising a child with autism especially stressful for parents (compared with raising a child with another developmental disability).
Their answer? Yes. (Come to think of it, why didn’t they just ask me? The reader comments below the story are worth reading. They seem like a roundup of common feelings and fears.)
Photo courtesy of freeparking (flickr.com)
Tara Parker-Pope ran a Q&A with Annette Estes, the center’s associate director, to discuss the findings. No bolts of lightening here, at least for me. What was interesting was their inability to track down the source of the stress. Estes said it was not the extra work itself of parenting a child with autism — assisting with daily living skills and so on — but something they couldn’t quite pinpoint. Hopelessness, fear of the future?
I’m glad someone is examining the emotions and feelings of parents like me and Jeff. I know we all respond to things differently, and some people do not experience the same fears and anxiety we do, but I also that plenty of other parents are miserable and afraid and sad. I guess I often feel sad concerning Alex, and the very fact that I feel sad makes me sad, too.
Since my daughter has both Down syndrome and autism, I spend time with parents of both. I often hear parents of children with Down syndrome wish that there were more kids with DS (usually referring to the high termination rate), more kids like their children. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that from parents of kids with autism. No one says “wish there were more kids with autism.” Perhaps it’s the social deficits of autism that makes it so difficult.
I can’t say I wish there were more kids like my son, on the other hand he has a number of qualities that I DO wish more kids had: he’s very easy-going and sweet-natured, and a few times I’ve found his sparse conversation a real joy (compared to typical kids who, well, sometimes talk nonstop!).
It’s sad that some (probably many) kids with DS are terminated before birth – however not everyone feels they can go through with it. We do know a couple whose young baby has DS and this child is a complete and utter delight. I think as the child gets older relating will be much easier than with my son. He’s a sweet and loving boy but he is often so happy to be on his own. It’s very disconcerting.