Getting Through the “Rough Days” With an Alzheimer’s Parent
March 18, 2007 by Mary Emma Allen
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
“I have learned that Mother no longer knows what she’s putting others through,” remarked a caregiver. “So I find I have to stand up for myself or I’d be hospitalized.”
She mentioned this as one way to get through those rough days.
As I read this and thought back to those days of caring for Mother and Auntie, I realize that most of the time as they advanced into Alzheimer’s, they may not have known what they were putting others through either. Both were caring women, concerned about others, and this somewhat disappeared for awhile at one stage of Alzheimer’s.
In the process of learning more about Alzheimer’s, I had to remind myself that, as frustrating as Mother and Auntie could be at time, they were trying to adjust to a whole new, strange world where they were no longer in control. It was a world none of us could abolish, so we all had to adjust.
Getting through the “rough days” isn’t easy. But realizing they aren’t striking out at us, but the situation or someone they no longer know, may help to take it less personally.
Mary Emma, I had to unfortunately postpone my round until next Sunday. We have some unexpected company, but as usual it is 1:30 in the Am..Everyone is sleeping but I can’t sleep it seems. It still needs to much work to try and do it while company is here.
About this post though. You are so right. In the early days of Mom’s alzheimer’s, before I knew what was happening to her, I would get frustrated with things she would do or how she would act. Once I knew what was causing it, then it became much easier knowing that she was not doing any of it on purpose.
I also think they are scared a good part of the time. In early stages, they are aware enough to know that something is wrong with them, and they are petrified over what it may be.