Girls Seek Confidence on Spring Break
Meghan Daum wrote an interesting post in the New York Times about girls on Spring Break titled Raunch is Rebranded as ‘Confidence.’ According to her research, girls don’t necessarily go on Spring Break trips to party. Instead they go seeking confidence.
If I can be considered hot here, I’ll be hot anywhere,” a rather morose woman sitting on a bar stool in a bikini and high heels told me. “I’m here to get confident.”
Who knew wet t-shirt competitions were for building confidence in a girl? And here I thought they were just some sexist contest created by men.
Spring Break is something girls prepare for as if they are getting ready to compete in the Miss America competition. They work out. They tan. They get plastic surgery. They are there to impress the boys and if that means letting a complete stranger do a body shot off their stomach then so be it. That’s the price to be confident.
It’s really sad that these young women think they have to have the biggest boobs, the smallest waist and the longest legs to prove themselves. It says a lot about our society when girls judge their worth on how desirable they are sexually rather than how smart or hard working they are.
But are we surprised? A few months ago I was at a family dinner when my fourteen-year-old cousin showed up in a skirt so short I spent the whole meal praying she didn’t bend over. As soon as she walked in the door I looked over at my husband. I could tell by the look on his face that he would never let our daughter leave the house in a skirt like that. But these are the fashions today. The shorter the skirt or shorts, the better. The more cleavage you can show, the better the shirt. High school and college boys aren’t looking for the girl with the best GPA. They are looking for the girl who looks smoking hot in a bikini.
As parents we need to do our best to change these perceptions. We need to tell our boys to love a girl for her personality not her body. We need to teach our girls to feel comfortable in their skin and not try to win a guy with a skimpy outfit. And most of all, we need to make it clear that you don’t find confidence in a beer bottle or by being groped by a boy.
So true. A really sad example of how even in an academic atmosphere, intelligent young women are still limiting themselves with the idea that how they look–and how men respond to their looks– is more important than anything else.
And Christine, you are dead-on that challenging these perceptions has to begin with the parents. And sadly, it has to begin at a younger age because little girls begin learning that youth and beauty come before anything else the moment they pick up that first Barbie doll. Parents are the ONLY ones with the power to change that.
Have you seen the spring/summer fashions for children? The “skorts” are so short you can see the shorts underneath. And they’re not shorts! They’re underwear – like the diaper covers I buy for my five month old! And the “Too hot” panties for sale in the children’s section? It all makes me wish I had sewing talent. I’d just *sew* clothing for my children instead of buying it! Sex sells, and apparently even at age nine. Gross.
For help teaching your girls to love themselves as God has made them, see campaignforrealbeauty.com. They have some great little videos to teach your girls what *really* goes on behind the scenes of a commercial – how they make a perfectly normal woman into an unearthly beauty to sell products. She’s not even real! The site is sponsored by Dove, which makes it a marketing ploy, too, but I think it’s a step in the right direction. Check it out.
We JUST opened our first fitness hub and hangout for and by teens in Santa Monica ,CA. We have a 10 week get in shape for prom and summer challenge going on and we have had several teens (boys and girls) coming to learn how to workout and I have been so impressed by the level of maturity and motivation some of these teens have. It just further proves how important exercise is for self esteem and confidence.