Give Me Back My Kidney – Angry Husband Wants His Kidney Returned In Divorce Settlement

Back in 2001, Dr. Richard Batista gave his wife, Dawnell, one of his kidneys. Mrs. Batista, had a history of kidney problems and the kidney donated by her husband, marked her third kidney transplant.

Now it’s 2009, his wife is suing him for divorce, and Batista wants his kidney back…..or the sum of $1.5 million. Mrs. Batista filed for divorce, back in 2005, 4 years after the kidney donation and transplant. Dr. Batista alleges that his wife had an affair – that’s the reasoning for his demand. He claims that the affair was conducted with Dawnell’s phyiscal therapist.  Mrs. Batista denies having the affair and she’s seeking a gag order, because the way that the case is playing out in the public – Dr. Batista held a press conference – is hurting and embarrassing the couple’s 3 young daughters.

Jill Stone, the law guardian for the couple’s three daughters – ages 14, 11 and 8 – also requested a gag order, saying the media blitz has embarrassed the girls and made it hard for them to go to school.

Richard Batista’s lawyer, Dominic Barbara, said the surgeon was “godlike” for giving his kidney to his wife.

He said his client has the right to speak publicly about what he has been through.

“He wants to tell the world what happened in this case because it’s a tragedy,” the lawyer said. “This is a man who put his life on the line, and his wife treated him like a piece of dirt, garbage.”

This does sound like a very sad case and I can understand the man’s anger about the end of his marriage, but I cannot see how he thinks he will come out the winner here. His marriage ended almost 4 years ago and at some point it would be healthy for him to let go and move on. An affair sucks, yes, but she is the mother of his children – she is not a simple acquaintance. Even if they are no longer partners in marriage, they are still partners in parenting. 

I am divorced. I have 3 children. My ex-husband has paid child support probably six times in the 16 years since we split. My ex-husband slept with my ex-best friend. My ex-husband charged 4 tires and rims to his new girlfriend less than two weeks after he left our home on our joint account. I could go on and on…… My ex-husband was not a good husband and that’s why he is my EX husband. Can you imagine what a mess I would be if I held onto my anger for all of these years?  It wouldn’t hurt him – it would hurt me. And my kids.

I hope that Dr. Batista backs off this kidney claim. I hope that he remembers that when he did it, he did it to save the life of his partner. That was a generous and noble thing to do and I feel that it’s unfortunate that he chose to dishonor that move in this way. 

I keep thinking about what will happen after this is settled and the story dies down. How will Dr. Batista’s daughters feel about their parents?  How will this color how they make future decisions about their own personal relationships?  Does his anger give him the right to hurt the girls in this way?  Is he justified in doing this?  When a family breaks up, it’s horrible. I can remember feeling like a crazy person for a whole year after my marriage split and letting go was honestly the healthiest thing that I have ever done.

Hurting Mrs. Batista, it’s not going to make him feel better in the long run, not when he stops to look at the damage he’s left in his wake. 

Steve, my last man, is still angry at his ex-wife and it’s been 5 years since his marriage broke up due to an affair. He’s actively mad at her, all the time. He sees decisions that she makes, for example moving, as a way to get back at him. He honestly believes that she moved so that he would have to drive farther to pick up the kids on his weekends.  I find it so odd and unhealthy the way he holds onto that anger. It does not hurt her. It hurts him. Maybe if he would stop seeing the world as something that is against him, he’d allow himself to find some lasting happiness.