Going Against the Grain…Attachment at Its Best
I’m goin’ out on a whim here by saying that I am totally against this product and all it stands for…convenience in baby feeding? Everything that I have stood for since adopting my first son has been attachment, because every adopted parent HAS to focus on attachment. Do biological parents just not worry about it?
Do they worry more about convienence and accomplishing tasks, getting housework completed and surfing the internet, answering the phone and socializing? Personally, all of those things fell by the wayside when AJ entered our lives. In fact, our social life diminished and we learned who our true friends really were…the ones who called back when I didn’t answer the phone.
But I have to say that the Baby Bottle Butler, for all its handiness is a lazy parent’s product. Sure, I may change my mind when The Bebe comes home and AJ is screaming at me to pay him attention but I am still going to take the ten minutes to sit down and feed my son and then give AJ his time.
Since the dawn of time parents have been wearing their babies, carrying them all day to enrich their lives, to attach to them, and to feed them. Why should parents stop doing what is natural by creating products that go against what babies need? Babies need our eye contact, our gently caresses on their face, and to hear our voices talking TO them, not around them.
What do you think? Stephanie at Adventures in Babywearing agrees and so does Amy at Eat Misery…
I don’T know. I blog and nurse or read and nurse, but I figure the skin to skin contact makes up for the lack of eye contact. Since both of mine go to sleep while nursing, eye contact hardly seemed important after the latch was established. That said, I don’t know anything about bottle feeding because I’ve never done it.
I think most birth parents do take attachment for granted, and I find that most don’t know what I am talking about when I mention attachment. Those who do assume it is an adoption issue. However, I have known quite a few birth parents who have had trouble attaching to their kids, or feared not attaching before the child was born.
I do have a friend who lost an arm in a motorcycle accident. This would have been a fabulous item for him because he could have participated in the feeding of the baby (non-issue though because his wife breastfed.)
Something like this was a gift from HaShem when the twins were tiny. I could actually sign to my HoH son while feeding his brothers.
I think it has some advantages, but like any other tool has the possibility of being abused. For instance the mom in the phone is making eye to eye contact, but I’m sure there are some who would use it to be able to play video games and not notice the baby.
Wow, you really wouldn’t like to see what I had to do when the twins were tiny then.
I’d set in the middle of the couch, punkin seat at both ends, towel draped under their chins to hold their bottle. I’d go back and forth picking one up, burping, putting him back and then going on to the next.
I do feel cheated out of a certain amount of attachment, but when a mother is trying to be all things to all people, it’s tough.
I kinda like this. It would have come in very handy when my twins were babies. I’d have at least had them closer to me then a punkin seat.
Gayla, I totally agree with you on that. What I don’t like about it is that it has the opportunity to be abused.
For moms of multiples or moms with several kids I can see the need on a limited basis (like when things are REALLY hectic) but I certainly would not want it used as a crutch.
If you want to see a really heated debate check out this one: http://svmomblog.typepad.com/chicago_moms/2008/01/im-goin-out-on.html
It goes back to the old saying: “Moderation in all things.” I wouldn’t have a problem with it if I were trying to cook dinner, answer the phone, let the dog out, fold the laundry and feed the kid all at the same time. I wouldn’t make a habit of it, but note that she is still carrying the baby around. I know people who have kids that want to be held all the time and since I don’t believe in allowing a baby to cry — and NEVER, EVER let my kids cry themselves to sleep even one — I could see this being quite useful.
Thanks for participating in this week’s Carnival of Family Life, hosted at Diary of 1!!