Goodbye, American Idol Michael Johns: The 5 Stages Of Loss

If you’re anything like me, you surely didn’t miss American Idol’s elimination episode last night. (That show is so awesome. I mean, really, what other show on television today does such great things for the contestants and the entire world? Certainly not that nefarious Moment of Truth.)

And, if you’re anything like me, Michael John’s shocking elimination set the five stages of loss into motion.

Let’s review them, shall we?

Stage One: Denial and Isolation

During this stage, we are so shocked and unprepared for the loss that we can’t really process the information as being reality. As a sort of defense mechanism – one that soothes our brains – we tell ourselves that it’s not real. It’s not true.

“No…not Michael Johns. He was one of the best. I’m not buying this at all – there’s been a mistake. Any minute now, Ryan’s going to tell us this has been some colossally bad joke…any minute now…”

Stage Two: Anger and Resentment

As the denial starts to wear off, the pain of our loss begins to hit us full force. As another kind of defense mechanism, we sometimes express this pain in the form of anger, and we usually direct that anger toward people we blame. We may blame the one we’ve lost, we may blame anyone involved, we may blame ourselves, and we may blame God.

“Oh, damn it, Michael! Why couldn’t you have chosen a song the judges liked?! Ryan! You horrible little man! Why did you have to make it sound like there was hope?! Why why why didn’t I vote more than 37 times?! Oh, God, WHY?!”

Stage Three: Bargaining and Desperation

At some point, our heads begin to cool off and, in desperation, we begin to try to bargain. It’s not uncommon for us to come back around to try to bargain with the very same people with whom we were angry.

“OK, OK, we can still salvage this. If enough of us write in asking for a wild card episode, we can get him back. OK, so, Michael, you just be nice to the show and we’ll all pray really hard and before you know it you’ll be back on the stage!”

Stage Four: Grief and Depression

Once grief and depression start to set it, we know we’re starting to realize that the denial, the anger, and the bargaining aren’t going to work – we begin to realize we really did lose someone we love. We may express this sadness by crying or simply wandering off somewhere to privately reflect on the situation and life in general.

“Um, no…no, I’m not really in the mood to hang around and watch Don’t Forget the Lyrics…I think I’m just going to…I don’t know…go up to my room and be alone for a while…*sniff*”

Stage Five: Acceptance and Resolution

After all the denial, anger, bargaining, and crying, some (though not all) of us eventually come to terms with and accept our loss.

“Alright…so he’s gone. That’s OK. He was very talented, I’m sure he’ll be successful even without winning the contest. Of course…there could still be that wild card episode…maybe…right?”

So, farewell, Michael Johns. You certainly rocked hard, my friend, and I hope to see you again soon.

Speaking of rocking hard, Mental Health Notes readers: Don’t forget to participate in the upcoming This Is Why I ROCK! series here at MHN!

Disclaimer: While the symptoms of each of the five stages of loss listed above are accurate, this post was lighthearted. If you want more information about what to expect when you’re coping with the loss of a loved one, I recommend checking out PsychCentral’s The Five Stages of Loss and Grief.

The above image is owned by jslander and is being used according to these Creative Commons attributions.