Halting the Blame Game
December 15, 2008 by angelique
Filed under Women's Health
Sometimes, a comment really shakes me into reality, as did this one from eshoe in response to this post about blame:
“I struggled with this for years. I thought the ‘key’ to recovery was pin-pointing the exact, one cause that pushed me into my eating disorder.
What I’ve finally learned is that there is no ONE thing responsible for an ed; just as there are inumerable triggers, there are a bevy of reasons my coping skills collapsed and I clung to my ed for safety.
It’s not so much figuring out ‘the cause’ as working towards the solution, and that’s what I’m spending my time doing these days.”
It’s such a brilliant truth.
Sometimes, I too have the attitude: “You know what? The past is the past and I can’t change it. Let’s all move forward and live life instead of pointing fingers.” Of course, it doesn’t always work out. Still, I think it’s worth trying to attain.
I don’t have an ed, but I have other mental health issues, and I have found:
“I struggled with this for years. I thought the ‘key’ to recovery was pin-pointing the exact, one cause that pushed me into my eating disorder.
What I’ve finally learned is that there is no ONE thing responsible for an ed; just as there are inumerable triggers, there are a bevy of reasons my coping skills collapsed and I clung to my ed for safety.
It’s not so much figuring out ‘the cause’ as working towards the solution, and that’s what I’m spending my time doing these days.”
except replacing references to ed with my various struggles, ESPECIALLY when it comes to my trauma issues… that all has been so helpful and what I’ve found necessary to make personal progress in my recovery and what not. For so long, and I mean, to a certain extent, I still am so panicked like WHY WHY WHY EXPLAIN WHY I AM THIS WAY WHY AM I TRAUMATIZED WHY and that just wasn’t helpful. I may never know. I’ll certainly never fully understand why I am the way I am. But you can’t let that keep you in some sort of recovery purgatory that can turn into hell. Dust yourself off, move on, and accept the complexity and mystery of the universe…