Happy (?) “ana-versary”

Summer is almost over, and as school draws near (my son is starting kindergarten — how the heck did that happen?), I am reminded of a summer 23 years ago in 1985.

Let’s call it my “ANA-versary”.

Yes, that summer was when I turned my body from chubby to svelte in one easy step — anorexia.

The funny thing is that I didn’t set out to become anorexic; I just wanted to never be called “fat” in school again.  (I was overweight or “under tall”, if you prefer!)  So I began restricting… severely.  I calculated that if I could lose weight on 1200 calories a day, I could lose weight TWICE AS FAST on 600 calories a day.  Then, I restricted more… and more… it was like a game.

When eighth grade started, everyone began telling me that I looked good.  Teachers even noticed the weight loss and never seemed to worry about it.  And I began starving myself in earnest, delighting in the attention from my peers and authority figures.

By the autumn, I had a choice — stop or keep going.  I was prepared to stop.  I was beginning to like my body and be really happy.  Then THIS happened, and in my teenage mind I felt like I had no choice but to keep going.

As you can imagine, my life became darker and darker.

It’s my 23rd ANA-versary.  Thankfully, things are looking up.  In fact, I can now enjoy cake with icing at a birthday party… even if the icing does sometimes (deliberately) end up on the tip of my nose!