Hateful Speech: The word “retard”
March 26, 2007 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
Words do wound, as Beverly Beckham writes in the March 25th Boston Globe. Globe, whose 3 year old granddaughter Lucy has Down Syndrome, calls on the Massachusetts Department of Mental Retardation to change its name, “and soon”: The word “retard” has “gone mainstream,” Beckham notes:
It’s on TV. In movies. On the radio. In books. In music. It was the title of a Black Eyed Peas hit song, “Let’s Get Retarded,” which was changed (because the ARC of the United States, formerly known as the Association for Retarded Citizens, wrote and objected?) to “Let’s Get It Started.”
But it played to sell-out crowds as “Let’s Get Retarded” because retarded is a popular West Coast term that, according to Songfacts.com, is “chanted at clubs and dances and used in everyday slang” and means “to go crazy on the dance floor” (synonyms are “Go Dumb” and “Get/Go Stupid”).
The word is also all over the Internet.
Retarded has even spawned new words: celebutard, a famous stupid person; debutard, a rich stupid person; e-tard, a stupid Internet user — stupid being the common denominator, and “tard” a suffix and a word in itself. (”Tard: Adjective used to describe one so retarded, they do not deserve the ‘re’ ” — Urban Dictionary.)
Indeed: Go to Urban Dictionary and you’ll see this “definition” for “Autism DS:
A Term for idiots that have nothing better to do with their lives.
DS stands for Down syndrome
………
Noun:
What are you Autism DS?
Man you have Autism DS.
What are you like, Autism DS?Adj.
Go home and Autism DS.
I am not going to say that this is hate speech, but it is certainly hateful speech. And it stings even more to read it because, as Beckham writes, the world (some of it) has changed:
Everyone knows someone who is challenged in some way — who has autism or cancer, who is head-injured or depressed, who has war wounds, who is old — people who need extra time or help or support to get along in the world.
And in our world today, we assist these people. We — most of us — do not mock them.
There are exceptions.
And let them remain the exceptions to the rule: We do not mock those with challenges. We listen, we strive to understand, and to use our words wisely.
Two years ago I was in staff area, when someone mentioned that we weren’t taking care of as many “retards” as we used to.
My cousin had Down Syndrome (and was also probably an undiagnosed autistic) who unfortunately died last year.
I immediately went ballistic. Not only is it NEVER appropriate to talk about any patient in a derogatory way, this was personal territory.
“What exactly do you mean by that term? Because my cousin has Down Syndrome, and I find the use of that term extremely offensive.” I was in their face.
“Well, I, uh, you know, didn’t mean anything.”
“Use of language that demeans patients is never acceptable. And there is no non-demeaning way of using that word to refer to people who are intellectually challenged. I trust that I’ll never hear you say anything like that again.”
“Yea, um, sorry.”
I probably could have handled the incident better. People accept things better when you’re not being confrontational. But I was LIVID! The veins were popping out of my neck when I talked to this person. I knew they could tell I was very ticked off. I hope to be calmer the next time I have to “educate” someone.
Dear Kristina, have been trying to get in touch. Are you still on for the Brooklyn Reading Works reading on April 19 at 8 p.m You’d be reading with Mothers Vox of Autism’s Edges. Please let me know. Louise_crawford@yahoo.com
You can call me at 718-288-4290
Thanks, Louise
C166, I’m on your side… you handled the situation with more decorum than the individual really deserved.
What’s awful, too, is when people imitate how the mentally challenged sometime speak; I’m sure you’ve heard it done before.
A woman at Blockbuster the other day was talking to her husband in line and when he said that he didn’t hear her, she replied with deep, slow, and studdered speech, “What are you retarded?” I wanted to turn around and slap her across the face. Instead, all I did was glare.
So, Club 166, I give you mucho props. I wish I had shown your courage in my situation.
There was absolutely no courage involved. I was just pissed (British translation-enraged) beyond belief.
I was going to blog about this but ended up not doing so: When we were in Whole Foods in New York on Saturday, the eating area was very crowded. Jim found us seats in the middle of two picnic tables placed together. It was a crampt space and Charlie had to maneuver his way in, and paused to look down at a piece of pizza that some diner (who was elsewhere) had left. The woman opposite immediately said, “Why is he doing that? It is really rude to do that to other people’s food.” Immediately Jim said “he’s autistic” at which the woman’s response was “When a child does something rude like that I think……” As you can imagine, she and Jim and I had a number of words to exchange and it just stopped and we all proceeded to eat (including the two young men whose piece of cake Charlie eyed and asked for).
Jim and I felt both felt quite sheepish—-who knows what was going on in that woman’s own life. Then it occurred to Jim and me that, since Charlie was right there, he may not have appreciated his parents just sitting by and saying something like “yes, that was very rude……..”
Club 166, if we don’t open our mouths and speak up, no one will—-I try to use each of these experiences to learn how to handle the next one better.
It’s a shame how widespread and…casual…that word has become. I had one roommate throughout all of college who got along very well with my brother, but would still slip and say it.
Truthfully, I know she truly made an effort not to say it, at least around me. But while I appreciated her effort to censor herself, I think it says something about how commonplace that word is that someone who not only knows but rather likes someone with Down syndrome could say that so casually.
I don’t even like using it in a clinical sense. Unfortunately, my school district made us switch back to using MR as a diagnostic label instead of cognitively delayed, cognitively challenged, developmentally disabled, etc.
My class just began reading (a condensed, Writing With Symbols supported version of) Little House on the Prairie. Before we began to read, we talked about how people’s opinions change over time and how we might read some things about Native Americans that we know now not to be true.
Here’s to the day that we can say the same thing about attitudes towards people of all exceptionalities.
Get over yourselves. My girlfriend’s daughter has a mental handicap. People saying or not saying retard around me doesn’t change the fact she has a mental disability. Jesus, whine about something that matters. Words only hurt if you let them and if you do you are an emotional infant.
I disagree. “Tard” and all of its variants IS hate speech, and the reaction created in me every time I hear it is just as volatile as other hate speech words. Many of us in “the community” are not taking a stance too long taken by many: a wimpy reaction of “please don’t hurt us.” That time is over.
Someone once asked me what I’d do if they called my son a “tard.” I told him I’d break his nose. This person’s cavalier attitude quickly vanished.
Not enough people, sadly, are REALLY willing to stand up for what they believe in because they might “hurt someone’s feelings” as if dehumanizing an entire class of people isn’t hurtful. Instead, the arrogance of not being willing to change ones language is put up with, but not for other classes because in this regard, it’s “only political correctness.”
I applaud you for writing this article though and agree with you on every major point, except by saying “this isn’t hate speech” because that comment appeared a little too apologetic for my blood. The time for being an apologetic for general American culture especially in regard to this is over.
I think, by the way, you might find my blog interesting if you’re interested, and a promo for The Ghost at the Banquet is there.
Warm Regards,
Correy Lennox
And a comment for “mike.”
My nephews are African American… is it perfectly acceptable, then, for me to refer to them as the N word?
Arrogance.
I didn’t say that we should go around insulting people with the intent of hurting. What I was saying is that I am not effected by someone’s words. I find violence above all else the greatest offense. It is disgusting and disturbing. Saying that you would “break his nose” bothers me. In our society we glorify anger for the sake of anger. If you go around breaking people’s noses because you don’t like what they say, I fear you’re more challenged than the people this article is the subject of. The word tolerance is thrown around a lot in popular culture which confuses me. This is due to the strange hidden duality of this word. Tolerance would seemingly mean accepting everyone for their traits; i.e. culture, heritage, abilities and yes their disabilities. But, oddly enough, it doesn’t include people who might have a different view than you. Yes it is insensitive to go around spouting Retard at every opportunity. And yes if someone called my girlfriend’s daughter a tard to her face I would be angered by it. Would I break their nose? No, by no means. I’d walk away and leave their life to them. If that is how they choose to behave or have been brought up to behave I can’t imagine that it would be that great a life anyway. I choose to rise above petty things, worry about how my particular “special” person is taken care of rather than what people think. I can’t control other people’s thoughts and actions. I can control mine.
MIKE
I didn’t say that we should go around insulting people with the intent of hurting. What I was saying is that I am not effected by someone’s words.
Find. Your mother’s a fat whore. I’m sure that didn’t anger you. “You’re mother’s a fat whore” are simply words as well.
I find violence above all else the greatest offense.
Referring to people with developmental disabilities using pejorative terms LEADS TO VIOLENCE. Google T4, Hartheim, Hadamar, Amy Robinson, the list goes on and on. I hardly think a broken nose is at the level of genocide. When someone becomes an object instead of a human being, they can be dispensed with.
It is disgusting and disturbing. Saying that you would “break his nose” bothers me.
It’s not an expression. I would break his nose.
In our society we glorify anger for the sake of anger. If you go around breaking people’s noses because you don’t like what they say, I fear you’re more challenged than the people this article is the subject of.
And THIS sentence is at the heart of why your comments were offensive: developmental disability is not a joke. You don’t take them seriously, and in this instance, instead of using “retard” you use “challenged” but the intent is the same.
I won’t do anymore follow ups to this. You’re arrogant and not willing to listen.
It’s unfortunate.
I didn’t insult your mom. I, in fact, left any type of derogatory insults directed at your mother out of it. My mother is a sweet woman actually, and yes she is overweight. Whore? I’m uncertain, you know everyone has their day. Either way I love and accept her for who she is regardless of what you think. You fail as a person and that makes me happy.
MIKE
Oh, and poor self control leads to violence not name calling. There are just as many articles out there stating that violence comes from poor decision making skills but you must have forgot about those. I made no mention of genocide so I’m not sure where that came from. This is the same brand of yuppy liberalism that lets rapists and serial killers go get counseling instead of being punished. You’re responsibile for your actions. No one and I mean no one can make you punch someone in the face. Your behaving like a child is your fault not anyone elses. Don’t pawn it off as if you were a victim, you make your choice. When I hear someone say “they made me so mad” I think, wow, they have that kind of power over you? Amazing… The reality is that they let themselves be overcome with anger; childish anger. If you are saying that I don’t care about my girlfriend’s retarded daughter you’re wrong. I care dearly, for her safty/care and for her mother’s as well. And, if you will, notice I used the word retard there… because whatever her condition is called (maddness, idiocy, moron, imbecile, metal retardation; all scientfic terms depending on the era we’re describing) she is still someone that deserves love and respect. Thank you for your time.
MIKE
Wow. You’re sure teaching your girlfriend’s kid how much you care, Mike. Or DON’T care.
Retarded isn’t an acceptable insult. Civilized people don’t use ethnic slurs and they shouldn’t use slurs based on people’s neurological configuration either. It has nothing to do with political correctness-it has to do with respect for diversity.
The hostility from the able bodied community regarding this issue is AMAZING to me.
And people who lament “political correctness” are REALLY saying “I miss the good old days when I could call someone N***** and get away with it.”
KASSIANE: VERY well said. I’m leaving this post now in the hopes that Mike will actually go and research why I made the genocide comment, or maybe he’s afraid to. (Hadamar, Hartheim, T4… google those terms)
Thanks for all you’ve written here Correy—-words have a lot of power and we need to wield them with care, that is for sure.
Kristina thank YOU for writing this article! I think you may be interested in the documentary I’m doing.
Wow that is well retarded. Right there i am not designating a single person or group im saying that it takes someone below common intelligence to ague about something like this. The fact is word is uncommonly used to literally categorize a person it is just sayign they are being stupid. The slang word used has a different contextual meaning than what you guys are arguing largely about. Also it is the fact that guess what technically if a person is mentally handicapped they are retarded it is the way things are. And just because i want to dismiss the argument of using the N word being okay well that is diifferent because being black doesnt make you different in ability except by color being retarded or mentally handicapped is a condition.
Kevin – I am curious to know if English is your native language?
Some words are simply very loaded — very, very loaded.
Correy, I’d much like to know more about your documentary—apologies for taking such a long time to respond.
Beacause society has made the term “retard” politically incorrect doesnt mean that it is a derogatory or a demeaning term.
I think that would depend upon who was using the word, and in regard to whom.
My ten year old daughter came home from school last week saying ” Sam said that I was a retard just like my brother.” (who is of course autistic)
Fortunately my daughter ignored him.
If that’s not demeaning and derogatory Bor old boy I don’t know what is!
That is the context that it is used in. Any word could be taken as offensive if used in a derogatory sence.
While I find the general usage of the term offensive, it seems to me that complaining about it overlooks the real problem. I know people who would never even think the word “retard” at someone who still look down on people for having intellectual disabilities. By these people, use of the term “mentally handicapped” “disabled” and so on is just as offensive, and actually more dangerous because it packages their offensive attitudes in words considered “acceptable.” Indeed, it seems as if some people avoid the word retard not because it is an offensive term, but because the very idea of being retarded is so offensive, the only way to talk about it is through euphemism.
My IQ eventually got me into a “regular” classroom (while supervised), but my sister’s experiences with mainstreaming have been fleeting. Hardly anyone in the public education system has bothered with her, and this is the reason that she is still reading. Because she did not have the kind of behavior outbursts that I did, they had no problem with letting her sit in a corner and rot. Our parents have giving up on the public school system, and right now she is in something called “reading therapy.”
I honestly cannot help but wonder what exactly makes it therapy, to be teaching someone to read after she has been ignored and neglected by the educational establishment. It is as if the incompetence of those allegedly “teaching” her can be chalked up to nothing other than something being wrong with her. It is totally irrelevant what diagnosis she has; there is nothing wrong with my sister. I don’t care if you call her handicapped, disabled, or retarded. I don’t care if you call me that. But if you cannot respect our differences, then I cannot respect you.
Retarded is a hateful word. It is a hopeless word. With the -ed at the end, “retarded” is an adjective that describes an irreversible situation having been done to someone.
The Retarded are the only minority you can join in a split second. Just ask one of my regular customers. She was driving through an intersection and hit by someone running a red. She woke up with a chunk of her brain missing. She lost her boyfriend, job, and house. She woke up “retarded”. So could you.
Those coming back from Iraq suffering traumatic brain injuries are now “retarded”, by its true definition. So do you see you are comparing your malfunctioning cell phone with our proud soldiers who have given their minds for our country?
Free speech was guaranteed to us because our founding fathers knew how powerful language can be. Those who think the word is “no big deal” don’t recognize this fact, which makes their arguments for free speech empty and embarrassing.
I don’t believe in government censorship, but I do believe in personal censorship. Watch your language.
Excellent point Jeannette.
It is hard for a lay person to distinguish a child with Asperger syndrome from a child with mental retardation, so I got called retard quite a bit, and it was all untrue.
Sometimes the word gets thrown around as a well-intended lie which even intelligent children can start to believe.
That doesn’t really start to go away until maybe college or grad school.
People should not practice psychometrics without a license.
Mental retardation is an intelligence of 70 or less and being unable to care for oneself.
Asperger syndrome is something else entirely. Perhaps it is even more cruel: we are intelligent enough to know what we are dealing with.
“Retarded is a hateful word. It is a hopeless word.”
That says it all for me, Jeanette. Thank you!
Chris, My son does not have a lot of speech but I know how carefully he is listening—how frustrating it must be for him to be constantly misunderstood, I can’t eve imagine. He’s taught me to listen better and to wait as needed—and the wait’s always worth it.
#Sam is not a “Pol__k”. He is a person whose ancestors were from Poland. And it is not okay to crack jokes about the supposed stereotypes of, and at the expense of that group.
# Andrea is not a “Y_d”. She is a person with a particular religious belief. And it is not okay to crack jokes about the supposed stereotypes of , and at the expense of that group.
#Larry is not a “N____”. He is person from a particular racial group, if that matters. And it is not okay to crack jokes about the supposed stereotypes, and at the expense of that group.
#Sally is not a “Ret__rd”. She is a person who may have a diagnosis and a specific set of learning disabilities which might correlate with a specific measure on an IQ instrument. And it is not okay to crack jokes about the supposed stereotypes of, and at the expense of, that group.
People talk about PC-ness, etc., but to me, throwing the words around gives tacit permission to cast other people as a large-group “other” that are permitted to be stereotyped and mocked in a way that we ourselves might take umbrage at if pointed in our direction. I notice that folks are much more careful these days to avoid and be sensitive to racial, religious and ethnic slurs, and it seems only equal and reasonable to extend that fairness to the developmentally disabled, learning disabled, or mentally ill. As someone pointed out, depending on circumstance, that could be you or I.
This is a very sensitive subject obviously. But there are a lot of situations were the term is used as a slang term for idiot or what have you. But if a doctor comes in and tells you your child has mental retardation. Which would be totally common practice, that is totally acceptable. I am not a doctor and do not use the term retard or retarded lightly. But the fact is that the definition of the word is not derogatory or demeaning.
Here is another example of a word that has been made to be offensive.
Tom is a Jew. You hear that and your like wow thats really offensive. But if Tom is a Jewish man he is a Jew.
Now what our society has made these kinds of words into, does not change what they really mean. Its offensive if you let it be offensive. And if your child is going and calling other children retarded in a demeaning manner, maybe you should talk with your child about these kinds of things. Maybe you as a parent should take an interest in your child’s development so they don’t grow up ignorant to these things.
The difference being that a physician might allude to developmental delay, intellectual impairment or even retardation in a medical sense; I seriously doubt that s/he is going to use the term “retard” as a noun, rather than a verb. FWIW, in Europe mentally retarded is not the preferred description because of the pejorative connotations.
BTW–a little history piece–the terms idiot, moron, cretin and imbecile were once accepted medical classifications for people with intellectual impairments, but left medical terminology when they entered the popular culture as insults.
That is my point you just made Reagan. Society is to ignorant, they don’t know where these words came from. And thats what I mean, I personally don’t use these words for that reason. But if these words came up in conversation I know what they mean. I know people would take offense to them, but in reality they shouldn’t is what I am saying. So no these are not offensive words. I also know doctors would use terms as mental retardation.
Another thing to think about. All these terms you mention idiot, cretin, moron, and imbecile have become socially unacceptable or insults. What ever term is used to describe the unfortunate with these challenges will most likely become an insult for that reason. So thats just the cycle it seams to go in. What ever word we are using now in 5 years might be the new insult.
My point is these terms are not offensive when used in the correct context. But when used as insults they obviously are. Just as any word could be offensive when used in such a way.
(An article I wrote for our school paper; I wrote it because I have two sisters with Downs Syndrome, and I think the rest is self-explanatory.)
There is a photograph on a webpage I came across of a little boy with a huge smile on his face. He has thin, wavy brown hair. He’s wearing a shirt with green and blue stripes on it. But I’m willing to bet that if society looked at that picture, they wouldn’t notice the smiling face, the wavy hair, or the green and blue shirt. They’d notice that he is in a wheelchair. They’d notice that his legs were scrawny, his fingers curled and tensed at strange angles. They’d notice that he was disabled.
And maybe they’d notice the few sentences above the picture that read: “Kill them all, every last one of them. What is the last thing a retard has done for you? Nothing, exactly. Or at least make them retard slaves, that would be awesome!”
Though this is an extreme example of hatred towards disabled people; it can be found manifesting itself in everyday conversations—especially at high schools.
In February 2007, now-graduated Soeren Palumbo of Fremd High School, Illinois stood up in front of a gymnasium of peers and teachers to deliver an eloquent, three-page speech.
He talked to people about saying the word “retard”. His inspiration was based on love for his mentally disabled younger sister, Olivia.
“Look around you,” he said to his peers, “and thank God that we don’t live in a world that discriminates and despises those who cannot defend themselves…Then pinch yourself for living in a dream…Pinch yourselves for each and every time you have called someone else a ‘retard’.”
The word itself is not necessarily bad.
“The verb ‘retard’ means to slow the progress of, impede, or delay,” wrote Steven A. Gelb in his article “The Dignity of Humanity is Not a Scientific Construct.” In the medical world, the words “mentally retarded” are accepted—though not often used anymore—as an appropriate label for those with mental handicaps.
“If someone asked me what kind of students I teach, I will tell them I teach ‘mentally retarded’ students. That’s what people understand,” said Chris Emmons, PRHS Special Education teacher of 11 years.
“The term mental retardation…long ago escaped from the clinical realm of classification into universal English…alongside moron, imbecile, and idiot,” wrote Gelb.
It escaped right into PRHS students’ vocabulary.
“I don’t say it to be mean, it’s just joking around with friends. The way I use it is not even like what the real word means,” said an anonymous student.
That’s where the lines get fuzzy.
Even if—in ignorance—someone isn’t intending to make fun of a disabled person, to say “that’s retarded,” meaning “that’s stupid,” is a misconception probably linked to one thing: though calling a disabled person “retarded” is a medically accepted term, someone looked at a disabled person and labeled them as dumb. Why?
Because disabled people are different than “normal” people.
“It hurts people with special needs that way. They have feelings too. You need to respect and love them as yourself,” said Bridget Brown, an advocate for disabled people. Brown has Down Syndrome, and though she can speak for herself, not many disabled people can.
“When someone says ‘retard’ in a derogatory sense, that’s…not nice,” said Emmons, his voice dropping low as he quietly stood up to close the door that led to the room his students were in. “The underlying meaning…is that there’s something wrong with being [disabled]. But in many ways they’re better than a lot of us because of their sweetness and innocence,” he continued.
Palumbo’s speech echoes Emmons’ sentiments.
“Think of my sister,” he told his peers. “Think about how she can find more happiness in the blowing of a bubble and watching it float away than most of us will in our entire lives. Think about how she will always love everyone unconditionally.”
“They are often happier than most people, more peaceful, and more joyful,” said Emmons gently.
Whether the word ‘retard’ escapes someone’s mouth as a medical term, a seriously derogatory put-down, or just casual banter between friends, people need to be sensitive about what they’re saying. As the saying goes, it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And for many, it hurts—a lot.
“I have an aunt that is mentally retarded and she…deserves to be treated fairly,” said freshman Maddy Cline. “When I hear someone say “retarded” I get offended because I think about my aunt and what a great person she is,” said Cline.
“I want to leave you with one last thought. I didn’t ask to have a mentally handicapped sister,” said Palumbo in the final moments of his speech. “She didn’t choose to be mentally handicapped. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
@Gina Alessi,
thanks so much for posting this here—if I may ask, what publication did it originally appear in?
I feel I’ve been noting more and more uses of the word “retard” or “tard” or “retarded” as a casually used phrase. I’ve tried to think of ways to point this gently out to the person using it—-I wrote more on this topic in this post, The R Word and Not So Nice Language. I don’t think people often give a thought to what they’re saying when they use “retarded” in various contexts.
Thanks very much again—
@Kristina: I’ve struggled with how to bring it up gently to others too, for years, especially with close friends who really just aren’t thinking about what they’re saying.
I had a roommate for several years in college, in fact, who used that word quite often, and I never did figure out a way to approach the subject.
The thing is, she knew my brother and was quite comfortable with him — which just reinforces to me how casual a word it can become.
I wrote that article for my high school newspaper, the Crimson Chronicle, and then it was republished twice; in our local paper and town magazine.
I’ve been working at the YMCA this summer with middle school-aged kids, and I’ve just been able to talk to them when I hear the word “retard”. First, I politely ask them to not say that word. And they ask why (which they always do) I explain that the word “retard” was originally a medical word to describe people with disabilities, but now people use it to mean “stupid” and “dumb”. I explain how even though they don’t mean to be hurtful, saying “retard” is really painful for those of us with disabled loved ones. They usually respect what I tell them, and most of them refer to it now as “the R word”. Of course, some adults are far less understanding than children when it comes to these things, what with our “right to free speech” and such. I’ve come to realize that it’s hard to stand up for this cause, but when it all comes down to it, it’s worth it.
It’s so worth it.
If you guys haven’t read Soeren Palumbo’s speech, you should. It changed even my perspective on this, and gave me the courage to write my own article.
To all those challenging the use of the term “retard”. Is there really this large a deficit in worthy causes that so much effort is being wasted on this topic? Policing language and softening terms does nothing to change the nature of the condition in question. All it does make ‘you’ feel more compasionate. Unlike other disparaging terms, it’s usage is not being challenged by the group it applies to. This debate is not the result of indignation on the part of the group in question, it simply an excercise in egotism and self-importance on your part. Your efforts are futile because it’s human nature to insult the intelligence of others. Even if the term ‘retard’ ceased to be mainstream something else would take it’s place. If people switched to the term intellectually handicapped, the meaning will not have changed. Find something else to concern yourself with…retards.
D@mn… you people are retards.
I believe this is a worthy cause, and though your opinions are different than mine, it doesn’t bother me. I’m just glad that some people are able to understand my perspective. I’m not afraid of your insults. I don’t care if people “insult the intelligence” of others. You’re right. It’s human nature. I don’t care if people call each other stupid, dumb, idiots (though I’m definitely not saying insults like that are good). My problem is that people are using retard– word that is linked back to mentally handicapped individuals–to insult and tease other people and situations. And you can’t say that our efforts are futile, because I know tons of people who have stopped saying “retard” after I’ve talked to them about what it means to me. And yes, I will admit that my two sisters with Downs syndrome don’t understand the word retard, what it once meant and what it means now…but I know. And if it hurts me, why can’t I feel enough compassion for my sisters to protect them from what they don’t understand? If a deaf child was being mocked and taunted but could not hear it, is it then ok for me to let it go? If a blind woman was having trouble crossing a busy street and no one came to help her, is it then ok for me to stand back and watch? If an African American was discriminated against, but did not stand up for himself, is it ok for me to let the injustices done to him pass?
If someone used the word “retard” and laughed at it, called someone else retarded and accompanied the word with a “durrrr” or “duuhhh”….hitting their chest with their hand as I see people do everyday, deliberately making fun of how a mentally handicapped person may act…after all that, even though she doesn’t understand that all the laughing and teasing is linked back to people like her, is it acceptable for me to stand back and watch as my sister and those like her are being laughed at that way? My sister, who is a walking miracle and nearly died as an infant, my sister whom I love so much?
Is it ok for me to ignore the word retard?
I think not.
Plenty of people with mental disabilities DO challenge the pejorative use of the word “retarded”. Therefore, there’s a logical fallacy in Robby’s argument–namely, he doesn’t have the first clue what he’s talking about.
Gina, thanks for taking a stand against hurtful language. I cringe when I hear my peers throwing “retarded” around at everything, & don’t always have the titanium ovaries to shock them out of it (it works, but makes me feel dirty inside).
thanks to Gina and Kassiane—-can’t enough how that word in particular troubles me.
Interestingly, the criteria for the MR designation has actually expanded. For those who might not know, this is a category that is still very much on the books — both in the DSM and via school district eligibility requirements [Public Law 108-446]. The term — Mental Retardation — is used quite liberally in this way in Los Angeles (the home of DreamWorks, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey, Jr) and, most especially, in the Los Angeles Unified School District…where apparently it saves the district money to place students-in-need in this category, instead of more appropriate categories where the students could receive an actual education—while at school ;}
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_retardation
YouTube
Words Hurt
While the term “retard” is used to insult people and is generally insensitive, here in the United States, we have a constitutional right to use it. The First Amendment. The Fascist Left would have you believe that there is a such thing as “Hate Speech”. This is a frightening concept.
I was amused, however, by the author using the word idiot to connote people who use the word to hurt others. “Idiot” was the clinical term used by physicians do classify retarded individuals. Since the PC crowd is constantly changing to find a “less hurtful” euphemism for *fill in the blank*, as words are abandoned because they “sound insulting” they will be picked up my the so-called mainstream as insults. Maybe folks could just accept words for words and ignore the insensitive dolts who use words to hurt.
mike, dont bother to comment if you dont show support. Did you know that a group of students in Nepal who happened to have downs syndrome were stoned to death by a group of older kids and when questioned, they replied: oh, theyre retards, they dont deserve to walk this earth. So, mike, its more than just an insulting word, it encourages abuse, violence, bullying, everything wrong in the word. Thats why we need to stop! using the word is just encouraging and supporting this. yes, it may be just a word used by un educated peole trying to impress they’re friends, but it stands for so much more.
I taught a summer school this past summer to high school students and one used the phrase “retarded” and “retard” on and off, until I taught a class on autism and noted how children who were once diagnosed with mental retardation are now sometimes/often diagnosed with autism; I mentioned individuals like Sue Rubin. The use of the “r” word disappeared from the student’s speech after that.
Maybe you as a parent should take an interest in your child’s development so they don’t grow up ignorant to these things.
Perhaps because of growing up in this house with an autistic sister who also has a cognitive disability, my older daughter does not bandy these kinds of words around, and has given her peers a mini-lecture on the same when they throw around the “r” word, or other perjoratives about people’s race, ethnicity or sexual orientation. We didn’t tell her to do it–no formal lecture. When I asked her why recently, (she gave me that “Oh mom” look.) “I just knew it wasn’t cool. Why would it be?”.
Seemed like a good answer.
Quoting Regan
Dec 14, 2007 at 3:54 am
“The difference being that a physician might allude to developmental delay, intellectual impairment or even retardation in a medical sense; I seriously doubt that s/he is going to use the term “retard” as a noun, rather than a verb. FWIW, in Europe mentally retarded is not the preferred description because of the pejorative connotations.
BTW–a little history piece–the terms idiot, moron, cretin and imbecile were once accepted medical classifications for people with intellectual impairments, but left medical terminology when they entered the popular culture as insults.”
Regan, you are completely correct. We, as physicians, never use the word “retard” because it is a slur/insult. We do use descriptions like developmental delay, intellectual delay, or mental retardation, all in a medical sense. I have seen in the last 15 years that the use of “mental retardation” in the hospital has declined, simply because of the insult “retard”.
My mother, a nurse, remembers when it was common to use “idiot, moron, cretin or imbecile” in the hospital, but those were also not used in the medical lexicon after they became insults.
Wow what a great link. I was attending a Church conference recently and two leaders used the word RETARDED as a derogatory adjective…..I was shocked and very disappointed. They didn’t see anything wrong with it and neither did their supervisor. Needless to say a “Special Needs Ministry” won’t be happenin’ @ our church. What a very sad statement for Pastoral Interns