Have You Had a Driver with Alzheimer’s in Your Family?
July 26, 2007 by Mary Emma Allen
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
Deciding when to take the keys away from a driver with Alzheimer’s disease often poses a great problem for family members, especially when that person thinks they still drive well. Or when a spouse or child considers them still a safe driver.
“He only hits the bushes on the side of the road once in awhile,” was a remark made to my husband and me about a family member. (His keys “disappeared” permanently shortly after that.)
Some older people, like my dad at age 90, recognize they can no longer drive safely…and don’t want to drive. My dad didn’t have Alzheimer’s, so perhaps could make his decision more rationally. However, he wouldn’t turn in his license, so his and Mother’s car insurance premiums were very high. He knew he wouldn’t drive, but there was something about turning in his license he simply couldn’t face.
A recent article, Driving Safe for Some with Alzheimer’s, seemed to indicate that researchers in the UK consider some Alzheimer’s patients safe drivers as long as they are monitored closely. This would depend on how advanced their Alzheimer’s condition is.
A few days after my husband and I were discussing that we needed to take Mother’s license away (even though other family members didn’t seem to recognize, that because of Alzheimer’s, she was becoming incapable of making split second decisions), she was involved in an accident. Fortunately neither she nor the occupants in the other care were permanently injured (Mother had 14 stitches in her head).
However, I didn’t need to take the car keys nor her license away. I simply didn’t okay her getting another car. (Hers was too damaged to repair.) Fortunately I was in control of her finances at that time, so Mother simply couldn’t go out and purchase one.
Wearing a seat belt is something Alzheimer’s patients often don’t remember. Mother didn’t have hers on, so was flung across the front seat and thus cut her head on the door handle.
How have you handled the situation when an Alzheimer’s family member should no longer drive? This often becomes a difficult one to make and carry out because of resistance from the Alzheimer’s victim and other family members.
How have you handled the situation when an Alzheimer’s family member should no longer drive? This often becomes a difficult one to make and carry out because of resistance from the Alzheimer’s victim and other family members.
Input from others about how they solved the situation in their family would be most helpful.
Hi Mary Emma,
I remember taking the keys from my dad living with Alzheimers… he argued and fussed, all the while making his neighbor’s stomach turn seeing him pull out of his driveway unto the street! It was nerve wrecking because he NEVER turned his head to see if cars were approaching! YIKES!!! Then he’d tear down the street leaving rubber.. we’d get calls from his neighbors pleading we take the keys!
Finally, a visit to his doctor did the trick. “Alfred, you’re too old to drive. Your body doesn’t respond like it use to – the reflexes are dull and not responding not to mention your eye sight and hearing have diminished. You cannot drive anymore, Alfred. Give me your car keys. I’m sorry but it’s time.”
A bit blunt but the best way to handle news to dad about his car keys. It marked losing his independence. A sad day for him and us watching his demise.
He may have lost his ability to manuever a car – he then became a front seat driver.. but in a safer seat – the passenger’s!!
God Bless my dad. He’s gone now.. a strong man, full of determination and zest for life. I miss him terribly. I love you dad.
Thank you, Carol, for sharing your story about your dad’s driving and taking the keys away. It’s very helpful when a doctor will get involved…some are reluctant to for some reason. Also, in some states drivers have to go for an eye exam when renewing. The eye doctor told my neighbor’s aunt she didn’t pass her eye exam at his office and thus wouldn’t be able to pass it at Motor Vehicles.
It is difficult because it takes away one’s independence. I recall, when I broke my back and was in a body cast. After I got out of the cast, I still had difficulty turning enough to feel I was safe driving (the muscles had to loosen up). So until I felt I could turn enough to be aware of all the traffic, I didn’t drive. It made me feel so dependent…at this time and while I was in the cast. I began to realize how my mom felt when she couldn’t drive any more…but I did know eventually I could, whereas she wouldn’t.