Helicopter Parent School Year Resolutions
My oldest child started high school last week.
It’s an exciting time, but it’s also a big change from the grade school routine we’ve known for 9 years (that includes kindergarten, she didn’t flunk or anything). One of the hardest things for me, so far, is that I’m not up on the details of her classes etc. like I was when she was in grade school.
Yes, I know what you’re saying: I shouldn’t be, she’s in high school.
I’m really not a helicopter parent (I don’t think), but I just like hearing about the details about what goes on at school, when the next quiz is, etc. It just gives me some context when I think about what she’s up to during the day.
Maybe it’s just general nosiness?
But, we all know the helicopter parent who berates the coach about their child’s playing time, or the one who calls their college aged child each morning to wake them up.
Ken Haller, M.D., associate professor of pediatrics at Saint Louis University School of Medicine has some advice for those parents who cross that fine line between involvement and smothering in his article, School Year Resolution for Helicopter Parents: Back Off.
It’s actually good advice for all parents, especially those who have older kids.
I think there is a difference in being an “active and involved parent” and a “helicopter parent.” Nothing you have ever written leads me to believe you are a helicopter parent… that term to me is negative and implies almost harmful interference by the parent. She isn’t ready to be set adrift down the river, its perfectly natural to want to be aware of what she has coming up, to be aware that she should be preparing for a test…etc. It also helps you to know not to plan for her to be at a family event or something the night before a big test.
I’ll have to say this year will be my first school year experience with my 5 year old daughter who is entering kindergarten. My perspective, as maybe yours, is that after 5 years of knowing each detail about your child’s life-when they wake up, what they eat, what they do, who they see–it’s rather traumatic in some ways to be so disconnected from them on a daily basis, where you’re not quite sure what’s going on. Unless you are present for a volunteering opportunity (or like my SIL, you teach at the same school your child attends) you rely mostly on what your child communicates to you about their day, activities and friends. It’s only natural to want to know these details. I’m grateful my duaghter’s entrance into the school years will be a gentle one-Kindergarten in our district is 1/2 day!
Thanks for your own insights!