Help manage my life with CFS
May 29, 2007 by laura
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
In order to complete the mourning process of closing my teaching practice, I am trying to fill up the hours that I would be teaching with another activity. Care to help fill up my schedule with some healing and not so healing activities?
I have 30 plus hours to fill. I am not used to doing nothing, and so this is a bit of a problem for me. Let me explain my current CFS situation to you, so you know where I am coming from. As you have probably guessed from the way that I write, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome no longer has a very strong hold on me (at least on a daily occurrence). However, it has completely wrecked my immune system. What this means is, when I am feeling good I can pretty much function as a healthy person (maybe one who is a little more tired than usual though); but I get sick A LOT!
I absolutely can not stand transition periods. I HATE them!!! I don’t like living tentatively, or testing the waters, or whatever you want to call it. I want to be committed to something. So I am going to put myself on a new schedule. I just have no idea what to do about it.
I think its a good idea to start going back to the gym (with the odd yoga class), and so I will be doing that. I think going to the gym, might actually help me with my sleep problem.
Even if I was generous with my time allotment and award 10 hrs a week (which will probably not happen for awhile), I still have many hours to fill. Of course, it goes without saying that I will be incorporating some rest into these hours.
So now, I leave the rest of my schedule in your capable hands. Please help me fill it. What would you do, if you had an extra 30 hrs a week?
Oh wow, 30 extra functional hours a week?! Let’s see, I would write more, cook more, knit more, sew more . . . maybe I’m not the best person to ask since my functional hour count is so low.
Anyway, I’ve tagged you with the 7 random things meme: http://travellingswatch.blogspot.com/2007/05/tagged.html
Hi Laura,
I’m SO sorry to read that you have had to give up teaching. I read the responses people left for you – they were pretty amazing! I can only echo the hope that you find a way to build up to teaching again. However, in the meantime, how to keep happy and occupied?
Ironically, one of the things I’m doing to keep happy is learn the guitar! Is there an instrument that you have always wanted to learn but haven’t had the time? I made the leap from woodwind (clarinet and saxophone) to cello about a year and a half ago. I LOVE the cello but had to give up lessons as I couldn’t be well to a schedule (I’ve had a particularly bad year as well). To compensate I am now learning the guitar through the internet. I can now learn a new chord, song or picking pattern at 3am, in my pjs, and nobody cares! Incidentally, this has been a huge help with coping with insomnia as it keeps my mind in a more positive place, and I find that continuing to learn is an important part of staying sane for me…You might enjoy checking out the website I use (www.justinguitar.com). He is an amazing teacher – clear and precise – and a generous and inspiring man. He is more on the pop/rock/blues side of things, so maybe you could set up an equivilant classical guitar course (start small and see what happens)? His lessons are also posted on youtube under Justin Sandercoe. Anyhow, that way you could still ‘teach’ and inspire people, and I’m sure you would receive great feedback, which would be good for the soul.
I also need to feel ‘useful’, so the other thing that keeps me happy is voluntary work in a bookshop that raises funds for Amnesty International. I love books, so time spent with other book enthusiasts, as well as sorting through the amazing donations we get, is time well spent. I also have a pile of books waiting to be Bookcrossed, but I suspect you’re already involved with that?
My final suggestion is a tentative one as I’m waiting to try it myself. I have ordered a copy of The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. I’m hoping that a 12 week course of exercises to encourage creativity will get me painting again. The ‘art’ doesn’t have to be visual – it can be writing, music, anything at all. From what I gather, she just aims to get you engaged and into a new creative habit, whatever the medium. The point is that I know that I’m at my best when I feel like I’m moving forward and trying new things, rather than focussing on what I have lost and the pernicious ’stuck’ feeling that CFS can produce, and I’m hoping that this book will help keep me moving.
Sorry for the long post, but I really feel for you. Giving up teaching sucks. Best of luck, and hurrah for continuing with such a great blog!
Georgina xx
If I had 30 healthy hours a week I’d head for the hills! Forget the gym! But that’s just me. I like dirt and bugs.
I don’t have much to add to Georgina’s great suggestions, except perhaps playing guitar in nursing homes. It would mean so much to them.
And how about naps to make up for lost sleep? If I lie down in the dark with a meditation CD it usually knocks me out for a lovely 20 minute snooze. I always feel much better afterwards and it helps make up for bad night-time sleep.
Do you knit? Learning is a bit involved (although you probably already know about learning to move your hands in totally new ways with learning to play the guitar) – which is good to engage the brain. If you already know how, there’s a wide range of interesting projects that you can tailor to how you are feeling – I have my simple garter or stockinette stitch projects when I’m so zoned out, but yet can’t sleep, and complex lace projects for when I really want to sink my teeth into something beautiful. Saved my sanity during the bad years!!
Jennie,
Thanks for the suggestions. And of course they are helpful…
While I am not at all crafty, I like the cooking suggestion. I really need to work on my cooking skills. So thanks for the idea. I am going to incorporate it into my schedule. Maybe look into a cooking class.
Thanks!
Georgina,
Thank you for such a lovely comment. The response that I have had on this blog about quitting my teaching practice was most overwhelming, I shed tears on more than one occasion. The comments have definitely inspired me to move forward….and I am all about that right now.
I love the idea about posting teaching videos on the internet, and will be looking into this at some future date. In the meantime, I am going to take a break from guitar playing (just a small one). I am still studying guitar with a teacher, and will for the month of June. But after that I will be guitar free for the summer….maybe I will do some noodling but other than that, I need a bit of a break.
I love the idea of volunteering! It was my very first step into wellness, before I started working full time. And it is something that I continue to do, but a more active role is certainly worth looking into.
As for bookcrossing, I love it! I haven’t gone looking for books, but I am always littering my city with books that I have read.
I have heard of the Artist’s Way, and have even flipped through it a couple of times. Somehow I always end up putting it down, because something else commands my attention. But will definitely be picking it up and taking it home with me.
I love writing this blog, and I do intend to spend more time on it. It’s always great to know that people enjoy reading it
Sylvia,
I am with you on the outside thing! I am happiest when I am walking the trails, or camping or whatever, NATURE ROCKS!!!!
and while this isn’t totally applicable in the summer, it is for the rest of the year. Because I have a full time job, I often leave work when the sun is going down, and I don’t want to be out alone at night hiking….and so the gym makes a little more sense for me. That said, I plan to spend as much time as possible outside, getting some sunrays ~ or some rainshowers ~ depending on the weather
I have been working with meditation cd’s, and while sometimes they can be helpful, more often than not I end up getting “jazzed” from them.
Thanks for the suggestions, I appreciate them!
Jenna,
thanks for the suggestion. Too bad, that I am not at all crafty. I do have a certain envy towards people who can sew, knit, build things. Everyone in my family can do it. But, I was not at all blessed with those talents, or with the patience required in order to learn them.
Can you suggest something that would not require me having to learn a new crafty skill in order for me to make something pretty????
Ah yes, safety in the outdoors is important. I never go out without protection. A few years ago a woman was raped in a park I hiked in regularly (it was broad daylight and she had a dog with her). Since then I always carry some sort of defense on my belt. Pepper spray is the best, and is readily available in many outdoors stores.
That’s the main reason I prefer to have daily workouts in a gym.
On the weekend though, you will find me walking (and maybe this year cycling???) the sea wall around Stanley Park.
The thing about walking (for me) is that my fatigue comes on really fast (not a ton of warning time), and I will often find myself stranded in the middle of a hike, which I was enjoying, and forget to turn around and go back the other way.
And so I end up struggling, being tired and in a really bad mood having to figure out how to get home.
With the gym…when you are tired, you can go stop, pack up your stuff and go home.
You’re so right about the sudden crashing. Sigh.
i have spent many a walk/hike sitting on the ground waiting for someone to come along and pick me up.
thats the thing with CFS, a perfectly great morning can bring about a completely lousy afternoon/evening.
it happens, and so we just need to find ways to compensate.