Honest Searching Fearless and Moral

“Having found the shoes that fit, he ought to step into them and walk with new confidence that he is at last on the right track.”

There are two words which offer me relief personally when they are preceded by “confidence” and the implication of peace of mind – “at last.”

The inventory must be four things:

1. It must be honest. Why waste time fooling ourselves with a phony list? We have fooled ourselves for years, we tried to fool others, and now is a good time to look ourselves squarely in the eye.
2. It must be searching. Why skip over a vital matter lightly and quickly? Our trouble is a grave mental disease, confused by screwy thinking. Therefore, we must search diligently and fearlessly to get at the truth of what is wrong with us – - just dig in and search.
3. It must be fearless. We must not be afraid we might find things in our heart, mind and soul that we will hate to discover. If we do find such things they may be the root of our trouble.
4. It must be a moral inventory.

I had been fooling myself for a very long time. That fact wasn’t at all clear to me. What was much more distinct was that I had been fooling others, specifically my family. And, it wasn’t in fun.

Screwy thinking? This also was unclear. No one had ever been able to get through to me what a powerful negative thinker I’d become.

Find things in my heart, mind and soul? That I’d hate to discover? I was already a purple passion hater – of myself. Why would I want to go discovering more about me that I could hate? Because “at last” I might find a level of peace of mind and happiness unknown to me before. And because I’d made a commitment to go to any lengths not to drink again…