How ana affected my thoughts about people eating

One of the strongest memories I have from my Ana Days was despising eating with others. 

Obviously, I loathed it because it meant I had to wrangle my way out of ingesting more than a few mouthfuls.  But there was another reason I hated to eat within earshot of anybody else– the sound of their eating made me sick.

Chewing.  Swallowing.  Oh, god, it was nauseating!

I can clearly remember one family gathering where everyone was silently enjoying their plates of food… and I was disgusted by what I was hearing.  I felt like I was in the middle of a barnyard.  It literally turned my stomach and I wanted to escape with all my heart.

Today, I am ashamed that I felt that way about my relatives.  It really wasn’t that they were being crude.  They were just… well… eating.  The noises were quite normal, I can assure you.  I was the oddball, not they.

I wish I could go back in time and slap myself silly.  Because now, I’m one of the happy (at least most of the time) eaters.

- moo -

Image source:  Newscom