How Breast Cancer Affects Your Sex Life (and what you can do about it)

So I’ve got one thing on my mind today (oh, wouldn’t my husband love to know that). What is that thing? Sex. Well, and a great giveaway.

But first, let me give you some background on breast cancer’s impact on a women’s sexual health and her sex life. I’ll start with some basics:

1. While there is no such thing as ‘a normal sex life’ to begin with, a breast cancer diagnosis can reek havoc on whatever you consider your normal sex life. (I’ll define normal as whatever gives you and your partner both pleasure and use the term normal to refer to that state from here on out, okay?)
2. Women can remain active sexually despite their breast cancer treatment. They might, however, need to use birth control if they are pre-menopausal and on medication/chemotherapy drugs that would cause fetal harm were they to conceive. PLEASE TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT THIS BEFORE YOU START TREATMENT!
3. Women might lose interest in sex, during treatment or after, and that’s normal, too. Sex is pretty low on our priority list when we’re fighting for our lives, isn’t it? Plus there’s anxiety, depression, nausea, pain … hormone fluctuations, vaginal dryness, hot flashes … not to mention body image concerns with the loss of a breast (or both) … there’s a lot going on there and of course, there are repercussions to all of that.

So first of all, if you’re one of the women that has lost interest in sex or experienced a decrease in your sex drive, give yourself a break. Second, there are things you can do to help get back to a normal sex life or discover a ‘new normal’ with your husband or lover:

• Start a diary of your sexual thoughts and feelings, recording times sex is on your radar, locations, who you’re with … it’ll be the beginning of a new awareness of who you are now in terms of your sexuality (and your diary might actually be arousing by it one day when and if you review your findings with your mate.
• Communicate with your partner … about the change in your sexuality, your mental state, your self-image and perceptions of your body. The more they know and understand your situation, the more connected to you they will feel while you sort it out.
• Use a vaginal moisturizer, like Replens, to make you more comfortable during the day so you aren’t fearful of painful intercourse.



• Engage in foreplay or use sexual aids … like those offered by Pure Romance, an at-home part company offering “an exclusive line of heighteners, lubricants and bedroom accessories for relationship enhancement.”

(FYI, Pure Romance has a program called Sensuality, Sexuality, Survival and on their website, they provide information from experts to answer your questions about breast cancer and sexuality, a community of women to exchange information and ideas with, and products from their product line that have been modified to meet specific needs of women with breast cancer … they’re the reason I’m about to feature such a great giveaway!)

Finally, here are a few additional resources for you on the subject:

• The American Cancer Society has a webpage dedicated to the ways cancer will affect your sex life.
• Cancer Research UK has a great article on How Cancer Can Affect Your Sexuality and Sex Life.
• And BreastCancer.org has an entire section on their site dedicated to Sex and Intimacy.

And, if you want to encourage the man in your life to do some reading on sexuality … here are some non-cancer related sites that could surely help your case:

• The blog Health and Men offers up several Men’s Health Tips to Make Sure She Invites You Back in the Sack.
• The blog Marriage Actually has a cool post listing Five Sexual Techniques to Make Her Wild with Desire.
• The blog Dating Dames has a link to a piece offering Twenty Free Ways to Please Your Lover (In A Family Friendly Way).

About that giveaway I keep talking about? It’s coming up later today. So stay tuned!

Finally, you tell me … what is the best advice you can give to someone dealing with this issue at the moment? What worked for you? What did you want your partner to know most?

(Image: Newscom)