How To Deal With Your In-Laws

Paul and I are fortunate that both of us have very reasonably laidback parents. They are very different (our whole families are very different) but everyone pretty much gets along. Most importantly, Paul gets along with my parents and I get along with his parents.

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So really, my title should be “How to be totally lucky”.

I have met some people who really claim to loathe their in-laws. Paul’s mom has often said how grateful she is that we all like each other, as if we somehow escaped something horrible and monsterous.

While I would like to think it is always our charming personalities that makes the nature of the in-law relationship work so well for us, I do believe there are some things that we all respect and adhere to in order to keep loving each other with minimal conflict.

1. No asking when we’re going to have kids. We don’t know, we’re not ready, but maybe we will be some day. Every time Paul’s mom mentions that she heard a person he knew in middle school is pregnant and doesn’t follow that up with a request for updates on when we’re planning to start a family…I love her just a little bit more.
2. Being understanding about holidays. Paul’s extended family is all closeby and my family doesn’t tend to celebrate the holidays in a big way. So it’s far more likely that we will have holiday meals with his side of the family than mine. But everyone is honest, we make sure to get quality time with my family in other ways, and it works. If there was more of an emphasis on holiday time with both sides, I could see that working as well. Because we talk about it.
3. Just close enough, but not too close. We live about forty minutes away from my parents and an hour away from Paul’s parents. It’s not difficult to get together, but we’re not living right next door. It’s the ideal situation for everyone – and makes the time we do spend together not feel forced or boring (which also just comes from generally enjoying each other’s company).

Yep, somehow we get by – and these three important points help make the difference.