How to Succeed When Meeting the In-Laws

If you have been dating for weeks or years, meeting your significant other’s family for the first time is a big deal.  If you ask people for advice, they will all probably say “be yourself,” but I actually think that for such a big occasion there are a lot more things to keep in mind.  A successful relationship with your in-laws requires a balance between being yourself and adjusting to accomodate the differences that exist between their family and yours.

Here are some tips for succeeding when meeting the in-laws for the first time:

• Be polite. This is your chance to use all of the tools that your parents taught you when you were growing up.  You might have thought it was annoying that they made you stick to so many rules, but this is the moment where they want you to shine.  Don’t interrupt, don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t dress inappropriately, don’t track mud into the house, etc., etc…
• Get out of your comfort zone and try new things. Families have grown up together doing the same things, but you have grown up under completely different circumstances.  It is probable that your in-laws have entirely different traditions and practices than you do, but get out of your comfort zone and try something new.  It might not be what you are used to, but it’s part of your significant other’s life so it’s important to give it a shot.  Don’t go over the top and sacrifice what you stand for most, but do push the limits for new experiences…you just might like it!
• Try to relax. It might be near impossible under these circumstances, but the only way to show your true personality is to feel relaxed.  Don’t act as you would around your peers, but do let your beautiful character shine.
• Show them how much you care. More than anything, deep down the family of your significant other wants to know that you care about your girlfriend/boyfriend as much as they do.  They want to know that you love them for who they are and help them to be the best person they can be.  Try to relax and show your love for each other without PDA (public display of affection).
• Don’t worry about judgments. Success in meeting your in-laws is achieved when you feel that you have showed them who you are and how much you care for their family member that you are dating.  Success is not when the family “approves” of you and deems you worthy of their son or daughter. If you focus too much on what they think of you then you will lose yourself.  Focus on the idea that you want to be able to walk away from the time spent together and know that you put your best self forward.
• Be positive.  The situation is stressful.  That is a fact.  If you keep a positive attitude then everything around you will just function more smoothly.  A lot of times families have their own tensions and issues already, so be a positive influence in whatever way that you can.  Be a support to your significant other because the situation is probably harder on them than it is on you.

Unfortunately first impressions are very important.  It is not the most important thing to let your in-laws “know who you are” within the time span of your first meeting.  Make a good first impression by finding a balance between letting your true personality shine and making accomodations to mix in well with their environment.

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