I am a mean old mom
hear me roar!
Who knew Jamie Lee Curtis – yes, A Fish Called Wanda – Jamie Lee Curtis, could be so insightful? Who knew she could throw such a powerful punch at today’s parents that I would feel the ripple affects all the way in Indiana?
As I read “Mom, it’s not right” I found myself thinking about all the teenagers on the brink of legal drinking age who’ve cried out with those very words all around me.
From the teen who married and had a baby before she ever saw her high school graduation — to the boy who had the worst mom on the planet because she didn’t stop him from sneaking out the window after curfew two nights a week.
Perhaps having had a younger sibling that didn’t learn true maturity until he was 30 that taught me the most valuable lesson in parenting money could have never purchased. From the moment I laid eyes on my twin boys shortly after they were born, I knew I wanted them to grow into solid, mature adults who would contribute positively to society rather than growing like a wart on the ass of my fellow taxpayers.
I truly believe our children have nothing to fear these days and it’s that lack of fear that is causing the lack of respect to snowball into the criminals and jobless welfare leaches we are seeing today.
When I was growing up, I remember having been paddled TWICE. I still remember what I did and quite frankly, I deserved it. Did it cause me to grow up to be an abusive parent? Perhaps my kids would be the best to answer that.
My boys are fourteen now and I’ve had to find more creative ways to punish them and around here we’ve grown to call it iGrounding. The result of bad behavior is loss of iPods, iTunes, Wii, etc. Basicially if they can put it on their ear or if it plugs in, they aren’t allowed to touch it.
I do remember a few times I smacked them, spanked them or whatever you want to call it. A couple of times I feel like I may have just gone mommy apeshit and have lived with a bit of guilt over it ever since. Before putting finger to keyboard, I did ask my boys about those spankings. I wanted to know if they remembered them. One son said he remembered when I spanked him real good, but he also remembers that he kicked mom in the back real hard when I was helping his brother with homework. Even he says he deserved that one.
As far as the others, there’s no sign of scaring on their mental state, quite contrary, the only sign that gives any evidences to punishment early on is the wonderful, well-adjusted and polite boys I’ve raised. And that’s not just mom talking! I’ve got the citizenship and sportsmanship awards from school to back me up!
I am just as mean – I tell my kids all the time, that I am not here to be their best friend, but to be their Mom.
My kids earned Nintendo DS’s for getting straight A’s all year (the first time ever I have rewarded them for grades). They got them today and all three have already been iGrounded!
Oh, you have been tagged…
http://www.wearyparent.com/seven-things-about-this-wearyparent/
The biggest challenge for me is learning how to discipline appropriately for my four year old. I am married to a Canadian Submariner, who is often gone. So I must be the loving mother, creative teacher and disciplinarian.
Then the age old saying goes, kids are always hardest on their mothers.
I was spanked, I deserved it and I ended up on the straight and narrow.
I spank his touche, but I do it sparingly and only when it’s deserved. I use the ‘thinking chair’ and loss of toys for 24 hours, thanks to Joe. These tactics seem to work for my little guy.
My baby girl will be an entirely different story!
I LOVE iGrounding. What a wonderful term for it! Up until now, because I must shamelessly co-opt that phrase with my kids, we have called it going “Non-Media.” Which in our house anything with a screen,headset or sound goes away. I have found when we have gone to “non-media” our kids get along better, their social skills improve and they are far more pleasant to be around. As for having to fly solo as a parent, I understand that too because my own husband is in the air force and would deploy for months at a time when our kids were very young. It is really hard to not go apeshit when you are the only one and a tired one at that! What I found really helpful when I was dealing with the stress of being a single parent was I would do the drive thru when I felt like I needed to, forgo the veggies in favor of pancakes for dinner. Whatever got me thru to bedtime, as long as it was explained and non-habit forming seemed to work for us. (i.e. occasional kid in my bed, but not a permanent fixture, occasionally ice cream for dinner, but Ben and Jerry were not guests at the dinner table every night.)
Thanks for the advise Devra. Since the father left, my 4 year old all of a sudden won’t eat veg’s. I don’t serve junk food, but grilled peanut butter and honey sandwiches come easy to this chef on a warm summer’s evening. Just try to get them to eat healthy food. Good luck to all mom’s!
Nice to know there are other women who have marked their footprints before me. It’s important I learn from other mom’s.