I Am An Instrument
July 10, 2006 by Mark
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
Still got that pride thing goin’?
Perhaps I ought to send this out exclusively to those who took the time to mock me at a meeting on pride a short while ago… hmmm? (ooooh – just oozin’ resentments eh?)
From the Daily Reflections for July 9th;
I Am An Instrument
Humbly Asked Him To Remove Our Shortcomings. (12 and 12, p. 70)
The subject of humility is a difficult one. Humility is not thinking less of myself than I ought to; it is acknowledging that I do certain things well, it is accepting a compliment graciously.
God can only do for me what He can do through me. Humility is the result of knowing that God is the doer, not me. In the light of this awareness, how can I take pride in my accomplishments? I am an instrument and any work I seem to be doing is being done by God through me. I ask God on a daily basis to remove my shortcomings, in order that I may more freely go about my A.A. business of “love and service.”
From the Daily Reflections on the previous day, July 8th;
An Ever-Growing Freedom
The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God. (12 and 12 p. 76)
Beware and be aware of prideful people especially in the name of recovery. They aren’t moving out from themselves toward others and God, they probably have a personal agenda and your welfare isn’t #1 on their list.
I like all of this – in theory. Please allow me to play devil’s advocate. For background, know that before AA I was a non-believer in God or a HP. Not an agnostic or atheist, simply had no time to believe in the concept. At 3 years sober and trying to live by the steps as I understand them, let me ask this …
If I accept that God or my HP is the “doer” of the good things I accomplish, doesn’t it stand to reason that God/HP is also the “doer” of the bad or negative things as well? If it works one way, it must be true for the other. Anything else would mirror the hypocrisy I see in most religions and churches.
Just curious on your thoughts on this.
Just found your blog on sobermoms. Popped over to say hello.
Looking forward to reading more.
dAAve,
Thanks for the thought provokers! My thoughts? Hmmm – First, I find it interesting that you begin with “allow me to play devil’s advocate.”
Advocate – “A person who argues the case of another.”
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Advocate
So… my next thought is – you say “in theory.” Anytime, nowadays, that I hear “theory” I remember that “the spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it.”
Now, my next thought or two are, how do I relate to you how I feel about this? And I had an idea… in the quotes above, at each reference to “God” replace “God” with “Group of Drunks.”
For ex. “I am an instrument and any work I seem to be doing is being done by this Group of Drunks through me.” The Group taught me what to do and I do it. Do I take credit? Nope – can’t.
Lastly, I can’t take your analogy and apply it that way because I believe in the existence of a lower power. The lower power does the bad/negative things. If I’ve “bought” into the lower powers’ BS and have done bad things, then my God is there to catch me when I fall. And then, if I’m willing, I can be forgiven for allowing myself to be misled.
Just for a little bit of “fodder” – I understand exactly where you’re coming from about hypocrisy in religions and churches. You should have been there when the church I was a member of, for which I taught religion to its children, for which I sang in the choir, for which I read readings at Mass, for which I involved myself with some who needed my help, turned on me most negatively and judgmentally when the woman I was married to began spewing lies about me that they believed! That pain was in my top ten of my life.
Appreciate your motivation! Thanks…
Hi Gwen! Welcome to my little corner of the world
Hey – from what I hear, you celebrated an anniversary recently right?
I left a comment on your Blog today! Congrats!
Thanks Mark