I Could Use The Laugh

From the Grapevine’s Click-A-Joke;

Definite Proof, September 1958, Volume 15 Issue 4

COUNSEL (to police witness): “But if a man is on his hands and knees in the middle of the road, that does not prove he is drunk.”

Policeman: “No, sir, it does not. But this one was trying to roll up the white line!”

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Once Over Lightly, April 1980, Volume 36 Issue 11

MAYBE SHE’D REACHED the same state of desperation as the wife in this story from H. V. of Bhopal, India.

The woman announced to her drunken spouse, “The day before yesterday you came home yesterday. Yesterday you came home this afternoon. If you come home today tomorrow, you’ll discover that I left you yesterday.”

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Ham on Wry, March 1989, Volume 45 Issue 10

AN OLD DOCTOR stopped at the same bar every evening for years, according to Robert E. of Blacksburg, Va. And each night he ordered the same drink: a walnut daiquiri.

One day, they ran out of walnuts, and the bartender decided to use hickory nuts instead, thinking Ole Doc would never notice. But he did. “This drink is terrible,” he complained. “What is it?”

The barkeep replied, “That’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”