“I think they don’t want to admit that many of the things they do are directed at curing [or at least palliating aspects of] autism, but they cannot admit it.”

mayfly: Could you please list the precise things you’re talking about (cf. “things they do”); and since you really began your critique with CURE please stick to that, thanks.

Ok, fine, but you need to watch the implications of some of the statements, like “Perhaps those who say they are suffering are simply worried over their children’s future.”, because anyone can see that as a backhanded slap. I again mentioned that I think you’re missing the subtleties of autism if your prior list has any indication, because it’s confusing the symptoms and the condition (via the DSM, which really doesn’t define the condition. It describes a surface view of something else, at best). It’s analogous to saying “I want to cure not being intellectual because my endeavors as such make me not athletic” in principle (one can lead to the other, but not inherently so, and for this argument to hold it relies on a stereotype of the condition to make its point, and in the process confuses one larger condition with a subcondition).

“There is also often an expressed snobbery by some members of the crowd. It is not snobbery to say you don’t suffer, it is to look down on others who do.”

I don’t think people look down on those who simply are saying they are suffering. I do think there may be the typical “snobbery” comes in regards to those who have simplistic views of the condition, and who are prejudicial without reason. But I very much think about those who are having a very seriously difficult time with a child who has a different set of needs in a very serious way, and would absolutely do anything to provide for that (and have, at times). Others do, too. I think there is an aspect of the neurodiversity movement that sees that a lot of the stress of raising an autistic child isn’t only in the child but in the surrounding setting, and that the conception of the individuals plays into that heavily. Again, I think you’re confusing just what the neurodiversity movement is really saying about autism, about the nature of the condition versus its subconditions, and with what it is up against inherently.

Cliff

A parent’s job, NT or not: trying to ensure that their children have tools that make them functional on their terms. I realize that with many of the most distressing manifestations of autism, this effort is Herculean, and I speak only for myself here.

I don’t want to “cure” every single behavior related to autism, or in my son’s case, any behavior related to his autism. I don’t want to “cure” TH of the things that make him him, and those things include echolalia, flapping, all manner of odd noises at inopportune times, an unusual and beautiful mind, a loving, humorous, quirky personality, and a unique perspective on the world. I wouldn’t trade these away just so he can socialize with more people or socialize better or to stop unknowing strangers from staring. With self-injurious behaviors–and he’s had some ideation that way from the age of three–I’d want to get him the help he needs for that. But that ideation is just one of a large suite of behaviors related to his autism, and it’s the only one that has ever caused me real stress or concern. Yes, I’d want to do something about that, just as I’d help a child who had any one of the myriad concerning problems that alleged NT children have. That doesn’t mean I’d want them to have a complete brain transplant.

I don’t want a “cure”–were one even legitimately possible–to kidnap my son, to take away the child I’ve known for more than seven years, a happy boy who’s getting the tools he needs–just as any child of mine would–to be as functional as we can help him be.

And the thing is, I probably won’t have to worry about whether or not he has friends or whether people understand him because these “neurodiversity” types are letting the world know that there’s nothing inherently wrong with echolalia or a loud voice or flapping your hands or flicking your fingers or not quite getting each and every social cue. There’s nothing wrong with rocking or stimming–even Bill Gates rocks. We already see the fruits of this recognition where we live, in this school district, because there are so many families like us. People here have an understanding and awareness of autism that precludes any necessity on our part to try to make our children into cookie-cutter products. Which is not possible anyway because NOBODY is NORMAL. We all need to be “cured” of something related to our behaviors. That doesn’t mean we need to replace who we are entirely with something that meets every false standard of “normal.”

There is also often an expressed snobbery by some members of the crowd. It is not snobbery to say you don’t suffer, it is to look down on others who do.