I Don’t Like My Friend’s Boyfriend

What should you do?  Disliking your friend’s boyfriend is a common problem between friends and can end up completely ruining a friendship if it’s not handled in the right way…we all know what happened to Heidi, Spencer, and Lauren on The Hills!

If you have encountered this problem in your life, here are some tips for how to deal with it so that you can, hopefully, maintain a friendship and your own happiness:

• Give him another chance. Sometimes new boyfriends can make a bad first impression.  You might have judged him too quickly.  Set your first impression aside and try to have an open and positive mind about his role in your friend’s life.

• Spend some time one-on-one with him. If you dislike the guy already, this probably sounds absolutely crazy…but it will definitely give you a chance to talk openly and maybe ask some questions (in a non-confrontational way please!) that you have been wanting to ask and help him to feel more comfortable.

• Don’t try to break them up. You have to realize that you will never understand what goes on between two people in a relationship.  Unless you think your friend is in danger (an abusive relationship breaks all rules) it is not appropriate to encourage her to break-up with him.  This will only alienate you and cause tension for everyone involved.  Learn when you need to bite your tongue.

• Don’t talk behind their backs. Once you decide you don’t like someone, it’s pretty easy to exacerbate the issue by talking about it all the time…especially if you get someone else on your side!  Make observations, speak honestly about your concerns, but generally keep your thoughts to yourself.

• Annoying is not grounds for break-up.  This is very important!!  It’s definitely possible that you just find the boyfriend to be annoying.  This is unfortunate, but definitely not a reason why they should break-up.  Everyone likes something different in everyone else and she probably finds his annoying tendencies to be cute and sweet.  Try to put aside annoyances and see if you still dislike him.

• Spend time one-on-one with her.  If you find that after trying your hardest to see the goodness in this guy that you still can’t, then schedule girl time with your friend without her boyfriend.  You still don’t need to unload about your dislike for her boyfriend.  Instead suggest a “girl’s night” where you can enjoy each other’s company without your significant others.  You will be able to maintain your friendship without worrying about the boyfriend.

Image: Flickr